A fork of Rural Dictionary
Someone who fancies themselves to be a cheese expert and can't stop talking about cheese.
He's such a cheese wanker! Every time we eat cheese, he can't stop talking. I just want to eat the damn cheese. I don't need to hear about how it was made, what the cow was fed and how many times a week the cheesemaker brushed the cheese!
cheese wanker someone who either masturbates: 1. With the aid of a dairy product, most commonly a soft cheese 2. While viewing/imagining images of cheese and obtaining sexual pleasure from the act
TOM: Bloody hell, this cheddar is great! BERNARD: Tom, you cheese wanker!