Country Dictionary

Excessively touching an item or person for any period time

Hey buddy ,stop dick fingering my phone.

Someone who is poor at catching objects such as balls in sports or anything being passed or thrown to them. Hence their fingers are resemblant of flaccid penises.

"Michael Hairsine always drops the ball"
"Ya, he has dick fingers for sure"

Someone who fumbles every thing he picks up, catches and gives to anyone. Dick fingers shows up at the bar, in a football game, making a sandwich - everywhere you can imagine.

Dave: Hey Bob, pass the salt.
**Bob drops the salt shaker everywhere, ruining everyone's food**
Dave: You fucking Dick Fingers...

When a guy takes a piss then doesn't wash his hands.

Frank took a piss and didn't wash his hands. He then shook hands with Paul who was unaware that Frank had dick fingers.

Air quotes, when done to be a dick.

McCain's air quotes, or "Dick Fingers"as we call them, don't just apply to energy independence, or assault weapons, or economic policy; they could really be applied to any issue. - John Stuart.

The type of guy who fingers a girl and thinks his finger is a dick. Usually a meat head.

That dude is a total dick-finger!

An invention developed by Octopenis Inc in order to make scrotal and shaft function more convenient for the male. Dick Fingers being a particular one of these inventions, deals with several metal prongs attached to the tip of the penis with a circular loop that enables the male to do such things as type on a keyboard or put in a pin number at a bank with their dick.

I was eating a bagel with both my hands, and decided to finish my report on African Slave Trading with my dick using my brand new Dick Fingers.