A fork of Rural Dictionary
"Flex tape. Okay, have you heard about this stuff? I mean, this is basically- Have you heard of Jesus? Well, even he couldn't do as much as Flex tape apparently."
powerful enough to fix all your problems, marriage breakdowns, breakups, depression, everything in the book except for a leaky boat.
first person: i think i'm gonna buy some flex tape second person: : hehe, thats a lotta damage first person: what second person: don't tell me first person: what does that mean second person: *jumps off bridge*
flex tape, all hail the great flex tape, we preach to flex tape, flex tape is worshipped by all of mankind, it can fix anything, even your hopeless love life
yo, me and carli, we were having trouble with our marriage but we just go fukkin flex tape bro and we're happy bruh got a giant black hole in the middle of the sun? fix it with flex tape ( but like wear fucking sunscreen for fuck sake my god)
flex tape is a tape presented to us by the god himself, Phil Swift. its also a beautiful meme
phil swift:Hi, Phil Swift here with Flex Tape! The super-strong waterproof tape! That can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair! Flex tape is no ordinary tape; its triple thick adhesive virtually welds itself to the surface, instantly stopping the toughest leaks. Leaky pipes can cause major damage, but Flex Tape grips on tight and bonds instantly! Plus, Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive is so strong, it even works underwater! Now you can repair leaks in pools and spas in water without draining them! Flex Tape is perfect for marine, campers and RVs! Flex Tape is super strong, and once it's on, it holds on tight! And for emergency auto repair, Flex Tape keeps its grip, even in the toughest conditions! Big storms can cause big damage, but Flex Tape comes super wide, so you can easily patch large holes. To show the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half! And repaired it with only Flex Tape! Not only does Flex Tape’s powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong water tight seal, so the inside is completly dry! Yee-doggy! Just cut, peel, stick and seal! Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!
The greatest fucking invention man has ever made or thought of! It is undoubtedly the furthest we, as homosapiens, have come and it is possibly going to revolutionise this world. It can solve any problem (not including your love life but still shown to have better results than placebo) It's basically ductape but 10000% more badass and it's black so you know it'll be fun to play with
*Man finds leak in house*: oh, whatever shall I do? *tv turns on and Phil Swift is shown*: TO SHOW THE ALMIGHTY POWER OF FLEX TAPE I'M GONNA SAW THIS BOAT IN HALF *proceeds to cut the boat into two* Man: the God's have answered my call
Basically God, if you haven’t already heard of this stuff, climb out from under that boat that was sawed in half and put back together and go get some! Flex Tape does basically anything you can think of! Bee Hive on your gutter? BOOM! Flex Tape! Want to stop peeing the bed? BOOM! Flex Tape! (Have fun getting that shit off) Professional Waxing too expensive? BOOM! Flex Tape! Significant other or other person won’t shut up? BOOM! Flex Tape
“I sawed this boat in half, and repaired it using only Flex Tape!”~ Phil Swift
The creator and the destroyer of worlds
FLEX TAPE REPAIRS BOATS DESTROYED BY THE MIGHTY PHIL SWIFT