A fork of Rural Dictionary
A sexy fat ass who's only method of transportation is through segway. Usually seen roaming the halls of a local mall, paul blarts are a rare and majestic species that can be distinguished by their large moustaches and bodacious bods
Scientist: Oh my god is that a paul blart? I just creamed my pants!
Derogatory term referring to mall security staff, and on a larger scale, any security guard that doesn't have the authority to issue arrests or carry firearms (see rent-a-cop).
"Hey Paul Blart! I just pissed in the wishing well! What are you gonna do about it?"
"There's a couple Paul Blarts in the food court telling those kids to calm down, but the kids are telling them to fuck off."
The act of eating a pixie stick and then kicking some serious ass!
Man 1- Bro what did you do today?
Man 2- I Paul Blarted some bitch!
Man 1- Awesome what flavor?
Man 2- Orange
The act of being a fatass working as security in a small mall in New England and being murder from dank faze clan
My brother was Paul blarting then he died
A variation on the blumpkin wherein a man performs oral sex on a woman while she is sitting on a toilet taking a shit.
"Why does Roger seem so down today?"
"Well, I guess last night Sheryl asked him to give her a Paul Blart."
"Dude, that's disgusting... did he actually do it?"
"Yeah, he really does love her... I guess afterwards he threw up in the sink. He says he can't get the smell out of his mind... it's haunting him."
Originally from southern Ontario. It's when you pop a bar, take a shot and then hit a fat popper.
"Yo Paul Blarts this weekend?"
"I did a Paul Blart last night it was fucked"
A bloody-fart (blood+fart=blart) that happens when you do a line of cocaine. Also known as "mall copping"
This blow is good, I just about Paul Blarted myself.