A fork of Rural Dictionary
An act (frequently sexual in nature) that isn't illegal but is so embarrassing that one will go to great lengths (even lying to the police) to keep it a secret. The term originated on the TV series "Better Call Saul" in reference to a specific sexual act, but may be used to describe any action that's considered embarrassing.
Detective 1: So, fully clothed Mr. Wormald by himself doing what? Detective 2: Yeah, come on, man. What? Jimmy McGill: sighs Squat cobbler. Detective 1: What's a s-squat cobbler? Jimmy McGill: Squat cobbler. You know what squat cobbler is. Detective 1: No, I don't... I don't know what a squat cobbler is. Detective 2: No, me neither. What is it? Jimmy McGill: What? And you two guys are cops? Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass. Guys, am I not speaking English here? Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?! Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around. Maybe it's like Hellman's Mayonnaise. It has a different name west of the Rockies. I don't know. But, uh, technically, he does a crybaby squat, so there's tears, which makes it more specialized. Not all pie sitters cry. But I'm gonna tell you something: This guy? He's a regular Julianne Moore once he gets the waterworks cranked up. Detective 2: Pies? What? Like apple? Jimmy McGill: Guys, I'm not the filmmaker here, all right? Banana cream. I... uh, peach. Oh, and there... And there is a costume involved. Detective 1: (snorts) You've got to be shittin' us. Jimmy McGill: Yeah, like I would make this up. Hey, the world is a rich tapestry, my friends. But trust me on this. You don't want to see it.
Sexual proclivity that the person(s) get aroused by sitting in a pie or person(s) getting aroused by watching someone sitting in a pie. Referenced by character Saul Goodman from the TV series "Better Call Saul".
Saul the attorney to the police officers "My client gets paid to produce a video that shows him ummmm sitting in a pie among other things" it's called Squat Cobbler.
When a man sits in a pie, and wiggles himself around. There are variations, such as crybaby squat which involves tears, and costume squat, where the man wears a costume of choice. There can be combinations of both, but not all pie sitters cry. Also known as Hoboken Squat Cobbler Full Moon Moonpie Boston Cream Splat Simple Simon The Ass Man Dutch Apple Ass
Tecnically they would be categorized as fetish videos, but nothing illegal. Just a man. A fully clothed man I might add, just all by himself. Just Mr. Wormald...Fully clothed....uh....yeah Doing what? Squat Cobbler
Squat Cobbler: (skwät ka-blēr) The fetishized act of a man who sits in pie(s). Particular attention is given to the man's clothed/costumed buttocks and the specific "wiggling around" gyrations that are made once the man has sufficiently mounted the pastry. Squat cobbling and it's variants are designed to titillate the senses and are often stored on various forms of digital media. Specialist squat cobblers, such as "crybaby squat cobblers", (a male who sits in pie while crying like a baby) are rare but in very high demand amongst pie sitting hobbyists. (Squat cobbler videos will always feature a fully clothed or costumed man, who's pie sitting and wiggling of the buttocks will always be performed within all legal boundaries.) AKA: "Hoboken Squat Cobbler", "Boston Cream Splat", "Full Moon Pie" and the oft requested "Dutch Apple Ass"
I stopped going on fullcreamahead.org for watching squat cobbler vids dude... I found a guy who will do custom dutch-apple-ass squat cobbling movies and only accepts baseball cards as payment bro!
A squat cobbler is someone who squats over pies (like apple and rhubarb), and rubs their buttocks over the oven warmed dessert for sexual arousal. Some specialists opt to cry and sob whilst performing this act.
I would like to partake in Squat Cobbling to get myself off tonight. Or Look over there, that man's squat cobbling. He is a Squat Cobbler.
A sexual fetish, similar to sploshing/food sitting/cake farts, but specifically with the use of pies.
That dude's a squat cobbler... You know.. he gets off sitting on various pies. Boston cream, Dutch Apple, lemon meringue, if it's a pie he's sitting on it and loving it.
Someone who gets a sexual thrill by sitting on pie.
"Sunny thought Bob had a foot fetish, but he turned out to be a squat cobbler guy."