A fork of Rural Dictionary
stray ejaculate. normally found on carpets, curtains and other home furnishings. particulary harmful to eyes. can cause irritation and/or pregnancy.
missing your partner'(s) face with a load causing wanksplash stains on the pillow.
bluetooth radar employed in airport or other mass transit location / social setting. acceptance of the device connection request means immediate "wanker" status.
getting a connection to an unsuspecting recipient using the "wankfinder" monicur, then quickly sending a piece of priceless filth and having it accepted before they realise their folly.
the ultimate loser. he/she has the uncanny knack of spectactularly fucking-up everything that is good in their lives - from 1st day at school to 1st kiss to 1st shag to 1st job to 1st marriage to 1st child's life to.....
you know who you are ;~) he's pissed and making an tit of himself again whilst his kids can't afford to wipe their arses - the man's a "load that should have been swallowed."