Country Dictionary

History:
A direct derivative of piss battle. This type of battle was created when two piss battle combatants had a draw...that is, both bladders were burst. Neither contestant wanted to cease the battle so they decided to join their rectums in order to have a battle of the anal muscles.

1. The combatants join their anal cavities together and after forming an leaktight seal begin to push the defecate between eachother. These battles are often ended once one of the combatants has emptied their body of all defecate. At this moment the combatant may disconnect their anus from their opponent and claim victory.

Shit battles are epic.

Shit battles do not cause cancer.

noun:

A device to which a victim is strapped by their hands and feet, and then they are stretched opposite ways, so as to cause the dislocation of several body parts, and eventual tearing of the body.

The Rack can also be used to relieve back pain.

A particularly nasty torture/execution device.

A hollow bull is cast entirely out of brass with a door on the side. After the condemed was placed inside, the door was closed and a fire was set underneath the bull. This caused the bottom of the bull to become "red-hot" and thus burning/roasting the victim.

The head of the ox was designed with a complex system of tubes and stops so that the prisoner's screams were converted into sounds like the bellowing of an infuriated bull.

Combine the horrors of claustraphobia, suffocation, and burning at the stake, and you have the brazen bull. This is some fucked up shit.

noun:

A Medieval torture device used to pour hot liquids on the victims. This simple device had holes in it which could dispence boiling water, molten lead, etc.

The lead sprinkler caused much pain in it's day.

noun:

1. A mythilogical hero who is known for his slippery fist. It is not known if this fist is in reality covered in a slippery substance or if he is simply agile and is able to "slip" through your defences.

2. What you can affectionately call your fist (if it is lubricated) as it is about to penetrate your victim's orfice.

Rodion: "It is a know fact the Mr.Slippery Fist led a hard childhood. However, after he visited the cave and defeated the demon, he realized that he could do anything he wanted to do, and thus became a great hero of his time."

Joe: "Very intresting..."

Rodion discreetly dips his fist into a jar of vasaline...

Rodion (whispers to his fist): "It's time Mr. Slippery Fist...it is time..."

Rodion (yells): "MR SLIPPERY FIST...ENGAGE!!!"

Joe: "Oh shit...!"

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Alternate Ending

Rodion (yells): "GO GO GADGET MR.SLIPPERY FIST!"

Joe: "Oh shit...!"

1. Rape using a crepe.
2. French rape.
3. Rape in a "fancy" way.

1."If you don't shut up right now I will shove this crepe up your ass!"

"Crepe rape!"

2. The frenchman proceded to pounce on his victim as the young boy cried out in dismay, "Crepe rape!".

3. As he spread caviar across my body, all I could mutter through my silk gag was "Crepe rape...!"

An overexagerated term for a penis. This term implies that not only does said penis exist, but that God himself gave it to the owner.

Someone who is proud of his (or hers?) penis would use this term.

I will smite you with my God given meat, in the name of all things holy!