A fork of Rural Dictionary
A traffic jam created by two or more moms who stop to chat in a doorway, oblivious of the crowd behind them.
Shep thought he could make it out of the gym before the concession stand closed, but he didn’t count on the inevitable postgame ma’am jam.
Noun: When someone parks their shopping cart on one side of a grocery store lane and stands on the opposite side to look for an item, completely blocking traffic in both directions.
Shep was unable to get to the sardines because some lady committed a lane violation.
Noun: A guy who leaves a dollar per person on the table, no matter the amount of the bill.
After providing three hours of exceptional service, Shep was horrified to learn that Jack the Tipper was the host of that night’s party of twelve.
The result of someone blowing snot all over a burger, whether by accident or on purpose.
Shep’s allergies hit him while he was grilling out, so he wound up serving juicy delicious hamboogers to everyone at the picnic.
The thin strip of grass that the yard guy missed when he mowed.
At first I was mad that Ronnie left a growhawk in the front yard, but it was a great place to hide Easter eggs.
Noun: A blockage created by a “careful driver” attempting to pass a tractor-trailer; upon reaching the back of the trailer, the car slows to 1 mph faster than the truck and takes 3 or 4 miles to pass before resuming normal speed.
Shep really had to use the bathroom and almost didn’t make it to the rest stop in time because some grandpa created a 22-wheeler right in front of him.