Country Dictionary

A fork of Rural Dictionary

The Shit/Shower ratio

An unwritten rule of law that compels the gut-dropper to go no more than three bouts of shitting without taking a shower. The ratio is set such to allow for illness, camping, and general dirty arsed folk.

"I'm already on my third shower of the day. I knew I shouldn't have ordered that vindaloo" "May I quickly use your shower? I went to that Brazilian All You Can Eat last night and I need to reset the shit/shower ratio" "You shower quit a lot" "Yeah, I'm lactose intolerant but still eat pizza" "Your farts stink!" "Yeah, sorry. I really need a shit but I'm at my limit with the shit/shower ratio and can't shower until the weekend"

by DrederickTatum June 02, 2023

I remember when

The 'I remember when' law states that if a person posts a picture of their child/grandchild/pet on social media then at least 50% of the replies to the post will be made up with people talking about their child/grandchild/pet.

"Here is a picture of little Maude taking a shit on the kitchen floor" "Oh that's so cute; George does this all the time" "They grow up so fast don't they? I remember when Alfie used to shit in the garage before bedtime"

by DrederickTatum June 02, 2023

Lampard

A person who has repeatedly benefited from nepotism and is often elevated to positions of stature despite clear inadequacies and/or previous failures.

"I see Glenn forgot to order toilet rolls again. He's such a Lampard"

by DrederickTatum February 01, 2020