A fork of Rural Dictionary
Franklin Lakes, New Jersey: Like no other. ;) You Know You’re From Franklin Lakes When... -75 percent of your grocery shopping is done at the Market Basket. -If you're Catholic...you go to MBS but only on the big holidays. -You own 3 cars, at least one is an Escalade/Hummer. -Your house has 7 bedrooms, but your family consists of only three people. -You live in a McMansion. -Your garage is bigger than normal people's houses. -You have a pool that’s never used because you don't spend your summers in Franklin Lakes. -You probably have more than one house (Vermont, Florida, Jersey Shore.) -The Sweet 16’s on “My Super Sweet 16” don’t even compare to yours. -You have a work out room and a library in your house that you don’t use. -You had Ms. Wulster for Gym. -You got really excited that Franklin Lakes got a Dunkin' Donuts ...but at the same time you think it’s crap we don't have a Starbucks and Wyckoff does. -You watch shows like Laguna Beach and don't understand what's so crazy about people having so much money. -When you turn 16 your parents will get your “okay to crash” car like a Mercedes or BMW but not to worry, you’ll get that Lamborghini or Ferrari for your 21st birthday. -Know there is a definitive rich section and “not so rich” (aka not rich for Franklin Lakes but not close to the poverty line either) section of Franklin Lakes. -You never set foot in the Franklin Lakes library. -If you go to FAMS you think it’s cool to hang out at Dunkin Donuts or Subway. -If you went to FAMS and see the kids at Dunkin Donuts/Subway--you think they're the biggest losers in the world. -You know that FAMS used to be called FAGS (Franklin Avenue Grammar School.) -The gas attendant at the Citgo has hit on you. -You own a Tommy Cheng shirt. -The “poor kid’s” dads are just doctors and lawyers pshaw, they can’t compare to your C.E.O. dad. -You know the guy at the Quick Shop by his first name---(NJ for those who don't) -You know the difference between those who chose to go to Hills and those who chose to go to Ramapo. -You've been asked "how big is your house" from people from other towns. -You have a Spanish maid and you probably don't know her name. -Your landscapers hit on you even though they don’t speak English. -You have a membership to Indian Trail Club and/or Shadow Lake. -You get your jollies from telling people that Kelly Ripa, Keith VanHorn, that big giant guy from the movies, and Phil Simms live/lived in your town. -You own atleast 12 Coach, Luis Vuitton, Chanel Prada, Kate Spade, Gucci bags, etc. -Your closet consists of Juicy Couture, Bebe, and Lacoste. -You go tanning every other day to the point of being orange. -Your mom is addicted to Botox and liposuction. -Your mom thinks she’s some hot shit wearing her little Abercrombie and Fitch outfits. -You know everyone that works in Market Basket, Elegant Nails, and Indian Trail Club. -You know who Dr. Klinger was. -You know that Ramapo is really in Franklin Lakes and thinks Wyckoff should get their own damn high school. -You know that Mrs. Scott slept under her desk between classes.. -If you went to HMR you had Mrs. Garber and wondered how she walked in those crazy outfits and heels and how she wrote with those 7 inch nails. -You know that Mrs. Prunk was Miss Mulvaney. -Your dog has its own personal trainer. -You transferred from MBS to FAMS or vice versa.. -You have an elevator in your house. -You couldn’t wait till fifth grade when you could finally ride in the back of the bus. -You know who to get your weed from in Ramapo. -You’ve been buying alcohol underage since you were twelve. -You have had your own chauffer/nanny/caretaker since you were little because your parents are never home. -You know that the Wyckoff kids are just wannabes. -You know that everyone just wishes they were from Flaker Town.
"Yo, Yofwanda did you hear about that party in Franklin Lakes at the 80,000 square foot house?" "Yeah, Sha-neigh-neigh. Too bad we live in Paterson and can't go." "I hate Flaker Towners." "You say it, homegirl."