A fork of Rural Dictionary
When the anus has not been cleaned for an extended period of time a small allotment begins to develop in and around the rectum
Jamie: can you go to the shops and get me a carrot for this soup please?
fran: wait a minute, i havnt showered in quite a while, i might have something for you in my allotment
Jamie: nah we're not using your anal vegetables again, that potato and leek soup tasted like a vultures ageing japs eye
after an abnormally large penis or other exceptionally large phallic shaped object has ascended through your rectal opening, and been withdrawn again in a repeated fashion, your areshole may lose some of its natural elasticity (in scientific terms, you have pushed it beyond its elastic potential) and rigidity, thus resulting in the inside of your anus now being the outsides of your anus, if this does happen, in mild cases a forefinger is enough to push the hangings back inside the anus, however in severe cases a plunger may be needed to reinsert your rectum, it is essential that you do not secrete feaces whilst experiencing anal hangings, also very important that you do not panic and remove the anal hangings with a sharp object. if all else fails, you can always submerge the hangings in warm earl grey tea for 4 - 6 hours and they will gradually retract.
gareth: jonathan i double dare you to insert this extra large cucumber into your anus until it has been fully engulfed by your rectum
Jonathan: gareth i dont think thats a good idea seeing as i only just got rid of my anal hangings from your last dare
gareth: dont worry jonathan i have a plunger in my bag and some earl grey on the stove, ready to tend to your AH
Jonathan: well seeing as you are so ready prepared for my inevitable anal hangings, i will insert this cucumber into my anus.
When you have a methane experience that is so moist you are actually convinced some faeces came with it
tom: think i might have just shat myself, i need to go clean myself up
dave: nah dont bother, probably just a phantom faeces
when the methane emitted does actually contain feaces molecules, this may result in the unconciousness of people in your imediate vicinty
liam: fuck, that girl just dropped down dead
Gary: yeh, i just let out a not-so-phantom faeces
crusty vag is when the walls of the vagina are lacking in moisture, in rare occasions when the vagina is at its upmost crustiness the vagina walls begin to fall apart, out of the entrance of the vag (vagina) a solution to crusty vag is to submerge the vag in warm tea for 4 - 6 hours, earl grey is best. the tea must be kept warm, this can be acheived by using a small candle or bunsen burner, or if you are lucky enough to have a bath in your kitchen you can use the hob.
geoffrey: what is that smell, smells like a jar of old foreskins thats been sitting under a radiator for 10 years
izzy: i dont know, its definitly not my vag
(izzy gets off her chair and scratches her vag)
geoffrey: there are smelly flakes falling out your skirt, you have crusty vag you vile slut
izzy: omg, no , this is so cringe, can you arrange a bath of earl grey for me
1. To seize hold of, take without prior permission.
2. To gain possession with or without force.
Said either derogatorily or as means of alert.
a) My car has been taken by a Lythigator!
b) Here comes the Lythigation squad!
c) Every time I go past his house he lythigates my lighter
When ejected fluids are left to hang off the end of the penis long enough to oxidise and crisp over, causing icicles of cum to hang from the bellend.
john: i was so tired at the end of a vicious bashing session i passed out.
carl: oh shit, did you wake up with phallic icicles?
john: yeh they were unreal, reached down to my knees