Country Dictionary

festicles

Dressing up your testicles in holiday attire

(derived from the words festive and testicles)

whenever christmas rolls around Jim paints lefty green and righty red making his festicles look mighty jolly

vaginal chainsaw massacre

The act of wrapping ones penis in aluminum foil and then having rough intercourse

John wrapped his tool in foil and then stuck it in Sally

Procrasturbation

Waiting too long to masturbate, causing extreme pain and bodily harm

Don put off masturbation for 2 weeks and his testicles imploded