Country Dictionary

British Spider.

Contraction. Since "Brexit", anything starting "British" must now be forcibly squashed into one uncomfortable word to become media acceptable.

Hense, at this time of year (September/October) we see an influx of giant spiders into our houses and they are British Spiders, ergo, there is now a Brider in the bath.

A web-whoops, where the intended word was "account" but the fingers were faster than the brain, and the brain forgot to spell-check.

Very bad if you do it in a business letter and do not correct it, leaves the customer wondering: "What's an Aco cunt?"

(Also sounds like it may be a really unpleasant coconut.)

Dear Mr Jones,

We have recently reviewed your acocunt.....Please bring your acocunt up to date immediately!

A term of endearment for a pet female Labrador dog.

Generally in use by owners of female Labradors, who wish to display the level of affection felt for such a worthy animal.

(See also: Labradorable)

Asker: Do you have any kids?
Speaker: I have a son and two black Labradaughters.

A strange phenomenon encountered when attempting to cross an empty road, where right as you go to step out hundreds of cars suddenly show up and make you stand there waiting,

Named after the scenes in Tom & Jerry cartoons when they put a toe on the street and millions of cars rush by, they remove the toe and the street is quiet again.

Let's cross over here, I can't be bothered to walk to the crossing and there's nothing coming....(enter billions of cars from nowhere)....uh oh, damn Tom And Jerry Effect.

Contraction used to describe a fabulous Labrador!

I have two Labradaughters they are Labulous little girls!

What happens when a spoon and fork love each other very much.

The fork and the spoon were in the draw for a few weeks and when I opened it, it was full of sporks.

Time taken by a person on flexible working hours, at the end of the day, to use the bathroom before going home, thus allowing them to add their toilet time to their Time Sheet as if they were actually working for that extra ten minutes.

Easy way to get additional holiday without actually doing additional work.

6 flexi-shits = 1 hours lie-in one morning.
45 flexi-shits = 1 days flexi leave.

Counting my flexi-shit this evening, I can now have a half day holiday on Friday, yay!