Country Dictionary

A fork of Rural Dictionary

spongebob baylypants

When a skinny, snobby, entitled chick wears butt & form-fitting pants, but her butt, waist and lower back are all the same width, giving not the appearance of an hourglass figure and a shapely rump, but rather the appearance of a square box from the middle of her back to the top of her hamstrings.

Dude, how's that date go the other night? Well, she wore Spongebob Baylypants and her ass looked like ole square pants himself, and when she took them off at the end of the night, it was not much better, but I did make that square box butt jiggle from her back to the top of her legs when I did the deed!

by Stagmen June 22, 2017

legally tugboat

Legally tugboat is like "Legally Blond" but without and blond and with the tugboat: meaning smart, short, ugly, and fat. She is type of girl your friend sets you up with by saying "she had a nice personality!" Like a tugboat, she looks like she wears a couple of tires around her waist the prevent hip damage!!!!!

Hey man, how did that date go the other night with that girl? Well, she never sent me a body shot, but when I met her, she was "legally tugboat!" Meaning, she went to law school, but was the ugliest chick there; nevertheless my cock thrusts were absorbed by her tire buffers and I blew a load all over her face!

by Stagmen June 06, 2021

zucchini pirate

A person who pillages and plunders any penis-shaped vegetable so he can stick it up his own ass or the ass of his pirated partner

Dude, he is hanging out with all the chicks, why? Dude, he is not a threat to them, since he is a zucchini pirate looking only for homo vegetable play friends, arg!!!

by Stagmen March 29, 2017

periscope fart

When you press your butt against a hard, flat-surfaced chair and fart, but there is no place for the gas to escape except up the crack of your ass. and out at the top.

Dude, I laid the biggest periscope fart in detention. I press my butt cheeks against the hard chair and farted and the gas came bubbling up the crack of my ass and peeked out at the top!

by Stagmen June 20, 2017

have you seen my new wristwatch

When you are sitting at a table eating with some boring friends, you pull your balls out of the side of your shorts, put your wrist on your thigh, put your balls on top of your wrist, and say to your friends "hey, have you seen my new wristwatch?" Your friends then look and see your balls on your wrist.

Dude, did you see the new episode of Grey's Anatomy? No, but have you seen my new wristwatch?

by Stagmen November 30, 2016

colorado cropduster

Colorado is known for its ascending ski lifts, but the Colorado Cropduster is a special treat that can be given on any crowded public escalator: all you need is a healthy fart and a crowded escalator. The gift-giver gets on the escalator and while walking up it, lets out a steamy fart for the unassuming people behind him. The fart and the smell ascends with the gift giver and all of those behind him have to walk up and through the smell as it slowly hovers and ascends to the top. Even those who are not walking up the escalator and are just stationary still have to toil through the smell as they slowly ascend to the top.

Dude, I rode the subway to work today and pulled a Colorado Cropduster as I ascended up the exit escalator. The smell hovered and at least 20 people had to walk through it to get to where they were going. How about that for a special morning treat!

by Stagmen November 03, 2017

egyptian two-step

A phrase to show that someone is completely clueless. The Egyptian two-step in when a male exits the bathroom after urination but forgets to zip his fly, such that his junk swings to one side with a right step, then swings to the other with a left step. The male is totally clueless that this is occurring.

Did he realize that he just misfired the weapon in the wrong direction? No? Have him do the Egyptian two-step over to do some push ups.

by Stagmen February 23, 2017