A fork of Rural Dictionary
When your gonads hang so low that they dip into the toilet. If there is poo poo in the toilet, this may be similar to dunkin’ donuts in some black coffee.
Mike: Yo Stone, I was munchin’ on some cream filled donuts this morning. When I bit into one, the cream squirted right into my eye. Shit still stings.
Stoney: Dawg that’s nothing. I was Dunkin’ Doz Nuts during my morning shit like crazy. Had to take 3 showers to fully clean my knackers off.
This fun event takes place when your partner is experiencing Sleep Crapnea (See Sleep Crapnea). You must stick your head into their mouth and carefully remove the crapples with your teeth. You must be discreet, as you do not want your partner to wake and discover the whorrendous mess you have left them in.
Side Note: If you would like to continue the fun, after you bob one of the crapples from your partner’s mouth, you can gently lay it on his or her chest and perform a good ol’ Cleveland Steamer.
Tyrant: My dude, you coming to the bar tonight with us?
Big Easy: Nah my dawg, I went bobbing for crapples last night. My wife was choking from the logs I dropped in her mouth so I had to bob them out. Got a little greedy and went for a Cleveland streamer and she woke up steaming. Told her I was sleepwalking again and thought I was waxing my car. Needless to say she kicked me out this time.
When you shit on something near and dear to the heart of one of your enemies (such as their lawn, their porch, their kid (which is fucked up), their car… you get the point) and then run away before the cops tie you down and get a spinky sample in order to get your DNA for testing and figure out why you’re such a fucked up human being. Happens more often than one would expect.
Anthony Jizzo: Yo Miguel, how’s the baseball season going?
Miguel Cumbrera: Not too good Jizzo. I decided I’m going to retire and move on to my next adventure in life. I decided to take an Albert Pujols on Nelson Cruz’s $200K car, so now I gotta change my name and move to Mexico before the poolice figure out I did it and ruin my repootation. I am the king of shit & run.
Stoney: Damn Cumbrera Sombrero, I enjoyed watching you all these years. It won’t be the same without you my boy.
Miguel: Thanks J-Man, I just don’t have any cum left to give. My OPS is only .669 these days, so I’m gonna go out on top. Good luck with the rest of your season with the Yankees, you play a solid first base.
When you haven’t busted a nut in several days/weeks, due to being sick, too busy with work, or just flat out dumb. The next load that gets dropped will be whiter than a White Christmas. Make sure to wear goggles…
Big Easy: Yo Stone dog, how’s the weather treating ya?
Stoney: Pretty decent, but there’s a chance of hail this weekend where I’m at. I’ve been sick all week and haven’t yanked my money in a bit, so a Jizzard is incuming. The next load I drop might cause an avalanche.
Big Easy: Damn, lmk how that works out for ya. Might have to give that a try sometime.
When you haven’t busted a nut in several days/weeks, due to being sick, too busy with work, or just flat out dumb. The next load that gets dropped will be whiter than a White Christmas. Make sure to wear goggles…
Big Easy: Yo Stone dog, how’s the weather treating ya?
Stoney: Pretty decent, but there’s a chance of hail this weekend where I’m at. I’ve been sick all week and haven’t yanked my money in a bit, so a Jizzard is incuming. The next load I drop might cause an avalanche.
Big Easy: Damn, lmk how that works out for ya. Might have to give that a try sometime.
This occurs when someone drops a piece of toilet paper on the floor and goes to pick it up. When the victim is reaching down, the toilet simultaneously flushes and explodes in the face of the dumb shitwad, causing a facial shitsplosion. This happens quite often, and can even end careers.
Tyrant: Dude I went to Dunkin’ yesterday and saw this dude come out of the bathroom brown af. Wasn’t sure if he was just Indian or if something tragic happened in there..
Big Easy: Bro, he clearly experienced a Facial Shitsplosion. Def was reaching down for some TP and caught a nice slimy log or four to the face.
Tyrant: Hopefully he doesn’t end up with Poo-TSD
This is like the tradition “Running with the bulls”, except it involves a woman or women running from “buhls”. The buhls represent a bunch of horny dudes tryna pound some Krabby patties.
Shaqueefa: I had such a fab weekend. My boyfriend treated me to a nice Mongolian battering ram (See Mongolian Battering Ram) and even gave me a nice Cleveland Steamer. What a gentleman!!
Quontilfa: Ugh I wish I could say the same… I went running from the buhls all weekend. Even got speared a few times by their horns. Have to say it felt pretty good though.
Shaqueefa: Ima come with you next time. We can definitely outrun those buhls ;)