A fork of Rural Dictionary
An invention I am working on which will be able to turn chicken shit into chicken salad
Dammit I'm hungry! Drop one of Obama's speeches into the Repoultrifier and make us a couple hundred sandwiches wouldja!
Substitute bait or personality enhancement to attract plastic, silicone bitches in lieu of a traditional pussy magnet.
Bill!, wheres your blind puppy? Ha! I sold that fleabag to a Vietnamese family and catch way more pussy by hanging this $5 bill out of my pants! Abe Lincoln is pussy velcro and wont crap on my carpet!
A 350 step self healing program which works if one attends at least 38 meetings a day for life.
I have no regrets for turning down a blow job from Pamela Anderson. My Masochists Anonymous meeting comes first!
An empty Domino's Pizza box found in a trashcan.
Hey! did Kimo find pizza in that shitcan? No! It's lesbian pizza. He's just chewing on the box!
A latitude line in the United States which divides Idiots and Assholes
Goddamnit Johnathan! How can I get away from all these Assholes? Easy Thomas' ... Simply drive your beamer across the Mason-Dixon Line till you start running into Idiots!
When you crap so long your turd hits the bottom of the bowl , does a U turn, heads back up and kisses you on your ass cheek.
OK! I seen skid marks before but whats these brown lip marks in your BVD's? OH! that's just from a Shit Hickey I got from eating too much Lesbian Pizza!