Country Dictionary

A gay man found attractive by women whose gaydar is not working.

"He's just such a good listener!"
"I think he's a Liberace."
"What?"
"Never mind."

A student who spebds more class time in the bathroom than in the class for the purposes of avoiding class.

Student 1: "Wasn't that the third time he asked to go to the bathroom today?"

Student 2: "Yeah. Either he's got IBS, or he's a total poopil.

1. An electronica band from the 80s.
2. An embarrassing thing to say in a restaurant.

1. "Dude, where were you last night? We were teasing out our hair."
"I teased my hair at the Depeche Mode concert."

2. "How would you like your pie?"
"Depeche Mode, please."

Behavior that exhibits ambivalence towards environmentally sound practices. Typically, the afflicted is unaware of said ambivalence.

"Hop in my new SUV and we can speed over to the recycling center."
"You have serious schizogreenia man."

A Craigslist term meaning "creepy as hell".

Strictly Platonic:

SWM seeks intimate backrubbing sessions with SBF. Deformities a plus. Just conversation! I've been dumped too many times.

A term for someone who one-ups you with a worse story. A bad story-topper.

"Man, last night, someone threw poop on me out of their window."
"Yeah, someone once shot poop at me out of a powerful air rifle. That's why I have a limp."
"Don't Spiderman 4 me."

Justification for any morally questionable behavior.

"Did you just throw acid in that child's face?"

"Life is short."