A fork of Rural Dictionary
(n) To reduce or minimize testosterone-driven stress, tension, or frustration—sexual or otherwise—through any means necessary, including but not limited to masturbation, anal penetration with inanimate objects, or extended sessions of Call of Duty play.
Pluck a' Nut
Boyle: SHOOG! Hurry the fuck up, we’re running late!
Kat: HEY, you need to fucking cool it—go Pluck a’ Nut why don’t you.
Boyle: *sigh* Okay—have you seen my lotion? I think we’re out of zucchini.
(n) an elongated and obscure period of time spent distracted on Facebook when the original intent was to merely check your messages.
Dude, where’s Mark?
Oh, he just ran inside to check his messages really quick. He’ll back in a Facebook minute.
Fuck, we’re never gonna eat now.
The ability to poop in the amount of time it would normally take you to piss, so as not to alert guests or hosts as to what you’re truly doing. Making the Piss Window is most critical when dining out with friends, entertaining guests in your home, or visiting the home of another. Failure to make the Piss Window will usually result in bouts of awkwardness as you exit the bathroom, because everyone will know….you just took a shit.
Joe: Dude, 2 minutes and 14 seconds...you just barely made the Piss Window.
Sam: Tell me about it. It'd be pretty embarrassing if Julie found out I took a shit on our first date.
Joe: Too late, I just told her.
1. The ability to masturbate with either the left or right hand with equal and identical efficiency.
2. The ability to preform hand jobs with either the left or right hand with equal and identical efficiency.
1. Hey Jack, what's with the hairy palms on BOTH hands, man?
Oh that, yah I'm ambi-dick-trous.
2. Damn man, look at Jack tear it up in that circle jerk. He must be ambi-dick-trous.
n. The direct result of squiss or failing to squeeze out any remaining piss in the urethra before pulling your pants up thus creating small patterns of yellow circles in the underpants. This is much like skid marks in the back of underpants.
Brian: Guys, I think I should see a doctor. I’m spotting again.
Joe: Relax, you rushed your piss and now you’re just leopard spotting.
Spencer: My leopard spots are the size of frisbees.
When excessive heat, humidity and sweating cause both sides of the testicles to spread and stick to both legs . This is much like a standard Tree Frog in which the testicles stick to one leg or the other. However, a Siamese Tree Frog distinguishes itself by sticking to both legs simultaneously. This typically occurs - but is not limited to - seated or prone positions. See also Tree Frog.
Brian: Damn son, it's hotter than Hades out here.
Joe: I know man, I'm Siamese Tree Froggin' like sonuvabitch.
The abrupt and awkward pause in conversation when one person realizes the other has silently farted.
So Stephen, as you know corporate has asked that we begin using cover sheets on our fax reports…so, uh…um….cover sheets on theeee uhhhhh….hmmmm...
Dude, did you fart?
Dammit....dangling farticiple.