A fork of Rural Dictionary
An alright game, with about several million difficulties in The Sims AI...
Sim 1: ZZzzzzz....
-Alarm goes off-
Sim 1: WTF!? Crap, my alarm. I better go to work. Oh no I have to crap, and I can't go through that doorway into the bathroom because a bookcase is slightly blocking it. OH CRAP!
-pisses on floor-
Sim 1: Oh god, my hands are filthy from pissing! I must wash them!
-Sim 1 glances at clock-
Sim 1: 7:59am? I've got plenty of time! Nothing can stop me from washing my stinkin' hands, and I'm still in my pajamas. I'm also about to die of hunger because I wanted to play goddamn basketball all of yesterday, which is my only day off for the whole week!
-crappy carpool pulls up at driveway, stays for three seconds, and quickly speeds off-
Sim 1: Oh well. I'll be fired from my job which I have worked for about five months, without a single promotion, because I couldn't make any friends due to the fact my
house's front yard is uneven, and I can't build any pathways or even the ground out because I have no money, due to the fact I spent it all to make myself happy with an art easel that he barely ever uses. I'm hungry!
-Sim 1 screams and has fit-
Sim 1: Here is my wife, Bella, strolling around the house reading books and poking at the dead fish in the aquarium that we forgot to feed.
Bella: Sims ajhda dasdhasd hgas hdgas hdg!
-Bella points at her stomach-
Sim 1: Oh god, she's hungry again. And I keep telling you, Bella, stop talking in incoherent mumblings! Use your thought-bubbles and speech-bubbles!!
Bella: -creates thought bubble thinking of a cross over Sim 1-
Sim 1: Much better. Anyway, I hear the Repo Man clearing out our house due to unpaid bills! Better rescue our darling daughter from the attic!
Bella: -creates speech bubble picturing a girl with a cross over her-
Sim 1: Oh, right. She's at Military School because we forgot to set her alarm to wake up at the right time... whoops!
-Repo Man claims piano, fridge, TV, bookcase, dead fish, table, five chairs, couch, wardrobe, double bed, single bed, and then the art easel-
Sim 1: Awww! My art easel that I never use!
Bella: -creates speech bubble with tombstone on it-
Sim 1: What are you talking ab-oh crap.
-Bella keels over onto the floor and the Grim Reaper comes in-
Sim 1: Oh my god! My darling Bella! Please, Grim Reaper sir, please bring her back!
-Grim Reaper motions for Paper Scissors Rock-
Sim 1: Alright.
-Sim 1 loses-
Sim 1: SHIT.
-Grim Reaper goes away, and the body of Bella turns into an ornament-
Sim 1: NOOOOO! BELLA WHYY!?!
-cries for eight hours at tombstone-
Oh damn I'm getting hungry. Nevermind, I'm dirty again, somehow. I better go brush my teeth, which is stupid because
I am completely filthy and need a bath, or shower. Ok, my teeth are clean, now since I'm at a mirror, I need to practice my charisma until I pass out...
-hears improvement music in backround after six hours-
Sim 1: YES! I did i..i...t... -passes out-
-Sim 1 falls asleep and wakes up again. Sim 1 calls for pizza-
Sim 1: GSG SDAHGD AJSDG hsgahgdajs hgdkjaH GJHGSAjhg fiASHDAG.
Pizza Service: SHJGDA SKJGD7Y WG $40 DGAG SAHDASDF VSADVGFAGF.
Sim 1: sad sahd.
-Sim 1 hangs up-
Sim 1: I'm still tired. The pizza service will take an hour, I might as well go to bed, and wake up at half past. Even with 30 minutes, I will not make it anyway because it takes me an hour to travel downstairs and take the longest and most drawn out route availible to the front door to grab a pizza which won't appetise me fully at all.
-Sim 1 feels funny-
Sim 1: Erm... I feel... dizzy... -dies-
You: OMFG! FINALLY! I THOUGHT HE'D NEVER DIE! OMFG I HATE THIS GAME!
-You smash computer-
That game sucks. Honestly. Don't buy The Sims.