A fork of Rural Dictionary
An unknown action that somehow is necessary to life. Shocking events, positive or negative, sometimes inhibit a person from being able to 'even', resulting in the person 'literally dying'. Scholars are unsure about what bodily functions are described by the word 'even'.
I'm literally dying because I can't even. That event that unfolded before my eyes was so startling and against my expectations, that I have lost all my ability to even. Please call an ambulance.