A fork of Rural Dictionary
A police officer caught eating bacon at the local diner before his shift.
Is that pig eating another pig? What a fucking canniboliceman.
Someone who steals everyone's sadness and then buries it in their grandmother's grave.
It was a grave situation, so I grave robbed everyone's sadness and buried it in my grandmother's coffin. That rotting wench can deal with it now. Grave robber.
A royal crown made of dried up human feces.
Are you going to don your browncrown for the royal ball this evening your majesty?
The act of fornication in which a standing male is mating with a female lying face down on a bed. The male puts his hands to his eyes to form binoculars while the female makes annoying bird sounds. When the male is about to climax, he pulls a shotgun from underneath the bed, unbenounced to the female, and fires it into the air as he ejaculates. If done correctly, the female will involuntary deficate all over the bed.
I tricked my girlfriend into making bird sounds while I fucked her from behind. It was so annoying I decided the Californian Birder was the only solution. Though she screamed when I fired the shotgun, she didn't deficate. I'll get her next time.
When a spouse takes his partner on a ferriswheel, leans in for a kiss when they get to the top, and punches her in the face as soon as she closes her eyes to receive the nonexistent kiss.
My wife cheated on me with my brother, so I gave that bitch the ol' Prince Edward . The best part is, she'll never ask me to ride on a stupid fucking ferriswheel ever again.
Bludgeoning someone over the head with a small bat in order to help them sleep.
I ran out of Nyquil and can't sleep. Can you sealclub me honey? Sealclubbing.