Country Dictionary

MacCramps

The arthritic hand pain that comes after hours of using the touch pad on a MacBook.

R: "What is wrong with your hand?" L: " I have a severe case of MacCramps, I was on my Mac looking at Twitter for the last 12 hours and now my knuckles are locked up!"

thumbilitis

pain and cramping in the thumbs that comes after many hours of texting

Robert: Hey Doc, after I have been texting for 3 or 4 hours, my thumbs cramp up and I can hardly move them. Dr: it sounds like you have thumbilitis, you may not be able to text for a while! Robert: Can I get a work note for that?

gray bar chest pain

A sudden onset of chest pain that is brought on by being arrested. Symptoms are usually so severe that the detainee must be diverted to the ER rather than being put behind bars.

"Hey man loosen these cuffs! I can't breathe! I think I'm dying! I got gray bar chest pain...I can't go to jail, I gotta go to the ER!"