A fork of Rural Dictionary
For those individuals supranaturally inclined, a proposal that would allow 'spirit' or 'ghost' testimony--verbal, written or gesture, as legitimate court evidence and admissible for legal proceedings. Attestation provided by creatures such as pixies, genies, fairies, mermaids, leprechauns, centaurs, chimeras, imps, ghouls, gnomes, trolls, hippogriffs, basalisks, dragons and/or werewolves, among others, are patently disallowed due to their imaginary or mythological status.
Prosecution: Mrs. Jones is on trial for the murder of her husband. Forensic evidence will show that she struck him on the back of the head with a large iron skillet. Testimony from our medical expert will show that the blow crushed his skull and fragments of bone severed large arteries supplying his brain. Furthermore, we have an eye-witness to the events as provided by the account of Elder Price, a Mormon evangelist who had just rung the residence door-bell. Defense: Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury--Mrs. Jones is completely innocent of this heinous crime. As our evidence is presented, you will see that it was Mrs. Kristienz, the DECEASED Ex-wife of Mr. Jones, who is responsible for his murder...we call Mrs. Kristianz to the stand! Bailiff: Mrs. Kristianz, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Mrs. Kristianz? Judge: Mrs. Kristianz, do you realize that you must answer the question, gesture or provide a written response? Mrs. Kristianz? Apparition Litigation in continuance until further notice...
The alcohol-induced female facial deformation common to fraternity parties, concerts and other social gatherings.
Holy shit, did you see that bitch? Better cut her off NOW... she's already started to gremlinize!!
THE signature tag line for the early 2020's COVID-19 crisis referencing a similar, but definitely more exiting motto from the 1980's.
WTF!? Who ever said that the corona virus made people shit extra; and there's absolutely no way ANYONE can go through that many shitter-rolls in a 2 week quarantine. I guess, He who dies with the most toilet paper...wins!
The inability to perform even the most simple physical tasks due to overwhelming emotional disturbance.
Holy shit! Did you see that guy trying to cross the street? He just fuckin' fell over his feat right in front of incoming traffic! and it wasn't even an Olympic event Yeah. It happens. Musta had the Biles Blues.
Yet another offering in the category of brain numbing, extremist and irresponsible social media sites chock-full-O COVID conspiracy theories, vaccine misinformation and underground anti-science propaganda.
Hey, did you hear on Twitter that the my pillow guy is going to be reinstated as vice president when SCOTUS overturns the 2020 election? Ummm, no. But I did read that the vaccine causes yer liver to melt and yer dick fall off. I KNEW IT! THAT'S WHERE MY DICK WENT. Yup, that's the gift of gab.
One of the many unpleasant COVID vaccine side-effects, which are often highly amplified after the requisite second dose.
So I hear you got the COVID vaccine, you lucky fucker. Yeah, I did. I bet you feel like superman now! Maybe a little; I'm still recovering from the vaccine flop-sweat, night chills, headache, myalgia, arthralgia and diarrhea.
The weakest link in the chain when it comes to effective COVID-19 testing and contact tracing.
Yup! We've got the test, the reagents, the patients, the demand and pretty much everything else we need... except for the cotton-tipped nasal applicators. The greatest country on earth has been Hobbled by Swabs...