Country Dictionary

A fork of Rural Dictionary

Rip Van Shtinkel

A Rip Van Shtinkel is when someone farts so badly while they are asleep that the sound and odor wake them up.

Dave pulled off such a bad Rip Van Shtinkel that no only did it wake him up, it also woke up his wife and his two cats.

by connorsji December 23, 2009

dragon

a girl that you would have sex with but never enter into a full-fledged relationship with You have to slay a couple of dragons before you find your princess!

in business terms: in HR- A benefits specialist with no hope of promotion Matt: "Joe, you slay that dragon yet?" Joe: "No dude, she wants to be my girlfriend!" Hey, you want to go dragon slaying tonight? No, I already slew one today and then threw her out!

by connorsji January 22, 2009

hummuscide

death by eating bad hummus

Detective Connors: "This was clearly a case of hummuscide." Distraught Wife: "I know he was murdered!" Detective Connors: "No, you stupid twit. He ate the hummus you made. Look at the crap you put in there! You killed him!"

by connorsji January 18, 2010

narcolepelepsy

A disease that causes a person to fall apart at night while having an epileptic seizure.

Jim: "What happened to your arm, Dave? Where did it go?" Dave: "Well, last night, my wife was blinking a flashlight off and on in bed. I fell asleep and must have a narcolelptic seizure." Jim: "What the hell is that?" Dave: "Narcolepelepsy. Don't screw with me. I'm missing an arm."

by connorsji September 04, 2009

iGod

An iGod is an iPod that has been loaded with Christian rock and gospel music. Basically a $200 piece of techno-crap with all those Jesus-freak songs on it.

Rick Taplik: "Hey Bert, what do you have on your iPod?" Bert Stoob: "Oh, I have a bunch of Christian rock and gospel!" Rick Taplik: "Oh, so do you listen to that gay song 'Place In This World'?" Bert Stoob: "I have that song but it is not gay. I am a Christian and homosexuality is strictly forbidden by God! I am deeply offended by your comments!" Rick Taplik: "Keep listening to that iGod and you'll be gay too!"

by connorsji May 18, 2010

boycott

a Catholic priest's favorite place to sleep.

Father Cahill had a boycott in the rectory and slept like a baby. Meow!

by connorsji May 01, 2009

shurp

a burp that smells like shit

"What the hell did you eat? That was the grossest shurp I have ever smelled! Did you have beets and cottage cheese?"

by connorsji January 16, 2009