A fork of Rural Dictionary
Someone that looks good at forty feet away, but not so good at four feet away.
Steve : Hot chick at 11 o'clock! Mike : Where? Steve : Across the room and coming past! Mike : Uh... Steve : Oh... ! Mike : Never mind, butter face. Steve : Dog ears. Together : Forty four change-up
A fan of a college or university's sports team only because they bought or own a shirt from it but never graduated from it. Their exclusive association is through being a fan of the college or university's sports team. Often the fan is too stupid to graduate college but can regurgitate great volumes of team fact, history and legend.
Steve is a retail alumni for Alabama only because his inbred uncle-daddy and cousins are also a retail alumni. None of them have even set foot on campus, let alone attended, and probably couldn't even show you where it was on a map.
A person whom while able to minimally function in society, hold a job (at varying degrees of success), feed, clothe & house themselves still remain a disaster at nearly all other personal & social aspects of life. They are your severely disturbed, paranoid and/or inappropriate coworkers, family & friends, yet remain gainfully employed, operate vehicles daily and manage to not starve to death.
Because of their multiple failed relationships and substance abuse charges, Brittney & Lindsey remain the poster children for the functional dysfunctional.
A wonderful & beautiful woman. A child of God, loved by her husband and family, artist, student & teacher of nature, art, music & kitchenology.
I am blessed to have grandchildren of Ricia.
Tough Sh!t Ticket (archaic). An imaginary/facetious "ticket" (as in train ticket) to someplace that doesn't exist, like Pity City. Essentially meaning "too bad, so sad, you ain't getting what you want, I am unsympathetic to your dilemma or plight". Alternatively, some sort of financial aid or assistance for those experiencing hard times, like food stamps or WIC vouchers.
Awwwww. I'm so sorry your girl/boy friend is sick and you failed your test. Here... Let me get you a pair of TS Tickets to Pity City and you two can have a good day.
After enough strange days a normal day seems strange when the strange days seem normal.
Bob: This is the first normal day after the chaos of the holidays/wedding/hospital stay/house fire/work re-organization and it seems... weird. Jane: It's a lola day.
A epically pitiful, sad and lame organized event attended and appreciated by loooosers.
Steve's high school birthday parities were always epic faillapaloozas where a few losers giggled over a single can of beer, his dad's old Victoria'a Secret catalog and ultimately spent most of their time mass debating over PC vs Mac OS. The company Christmas party is a faillapalooza for reluctant department heads & their sycophants.