Country Dictionary

Pen Pal

A pal that you are comfortable enough to touch dicks with.

Jimmy: Hey dad, wanna see my pen pal?
Dad: Well sure why not bring him on in.
Dave: Alright Jimmy, are you ready?
Jimmy: Ready Dave:
(Dick touching)
Dad: Jesus Fuck!

Douche Meeting

The time of the month that all of the college kids get together at a restaurant or bar.

Dan: Dammit this was the only place that we could go to get away from the douche meeting
Bar Owner: Well I guess that all we can do now is burn the bar down in a holy fire.

Jew tip

To leave a very small tip

Waiter: You know what, you can take you jew tip back, because you must need it more than me.

Jew: Oh well thank you you little shlinskfdasfdku (Yiddish).

Pubertis

Puberty is really a giant monster that puts pubes on you while you are asleep.

Kid 1: Dude, I finally hit puberty!
Kid 2: Naw dude, pubertis touched your balls and possibly your inner asshole while you were sleeping
Kid 1: No!!!! I wanted to lose my virginity to a cheerleader!

Gorelick

(proper noun Go-re-lick)

Goo swallower
Oral fucker
Regional dick sucking champion
Elected mayer of gigolos
Licker of the asshole
Intimate son of a bitch
Cockgoblin
Kueer

Mr. Gorelick is all of the above