A fork of Rural Dictionary
methamphetamine cook - generally a homeless, white male who saw someone make meth once or got a "recipe" for it while in county jail. A betty crocker has an inflated sense of importance and will try to represent possessing a special knowledge of chemicals and reactions even though they flunked 9th grade science. Betty Crocker's "kitchen" items (a hot plate, some rubber tubing, a couple of beer bottles and maybe a Pyrex dish stolen from the last place he stayed) usually fits in his/her backpack or the trunk of their most affluent customer's car. A Betty Crocker generally produces small quantities of a wet, off-white, granular substance that smells like Coleman Fuel or nail polish remover. Of course, he has to have someone else steal all the ingredients for his recipe, and can only "cook" between 2 and 6 in the morning. By the time "Betty" "kicks down" some "product" to all the people who have contributed rides, materials or a place to cook, he generally has less than a gram of dope left. Betty generally has the actual residents where he is cooking go purchase some real meth for him from the nearest authorized cartel frachise. This is necessary to keep him awake long enough to make another batch to get the gas/probation/court/etc money he needs to be able to leave. The Betty Crocker generally only cooks between 2 and 6 AM or when your landlord is due. Betty is generally a prick who believes he can do anything and should be treated like tweaker royalty.
A betty crocker used my bathroom to cook a batch, so I had to wash the walls down with baking soda. Fuckin' betty crockers!
Duct tape used to restrain, blindfold or gag reluctant sexual partners.
Basically a guilt prophylactic device you provide to someone you really care about to spare them those uncomfortable morning-after worries about being a dirty, dirty perv or looking like one.
"Just take a little date tape and some zip ties," was Darren's advice for my weekend plans.