A fork of Rural Dictionary
To find road kill, preferably but not necessarily a squirrel (it is more about the act than it being a squirrel) and then bring it home, urinate on it and insert it into the vagina of a sex partner during the act of intercourse.
"Jesus, Judy, stop the car!!! Look at the size of that dead squirrel at the on the side of the road!" "Oh my god Randy, my vagina is self lubricating at the thought of you pissing on it and inserting it into my hot, sopping hole. I think I am gonna come just thinking about getting that soggy squirel." "I'll put it in the trunk so that we can bring it home Judy."
You are in the wilderness with your lady. You build a nice, romantic fire to keep her warm and hand her a beer. She cuddles in for warmth. You accept and cuddle back. You are not romantic, this is a set up for an monumental Crème Brule (burnt cream) Dessert. As she feels warm and loved, you use this to your advantage and push for BJ by the aptly roaring fire. She cannot say no and begins to blow you like a Missouri tornado. As soon as you are about to bust, you pull out without telling her and unleash a thick, healthy splattering if jizz all over her face. Before she can do anything, you grab her head and hold it as close to the fire as you can so as to not burn her but rather for the jizz to gently harden over her face. Once she has been glazed over, you pull her away for the fire, let her cool a moment and gently tap the hardened jizz glaze on her face with your dick, not unlike a crème brule with a spoon. Note – this does not have to be done with a fire, you can also use a radiator, hot plate, etc.
So I was with Mindy the other night. Took her out past Old Bear Road and down by Brawny Creek. Had a cooler full of Millers and started a nice campfire to get her twatt a soppin’. Worked like a charm. Next thing you know, she is sucking me off like a white collar criminal doing hard time with murderers. Well, I pull out my cock and drop a mother load of bag yogurt all over her unsuspecting face. Before she has a chance, I grab her, hold her close to the fire and glaze that jizz over her gub until it forms a nice little crust. Then I pulled her away to let her cool and tapped that crust with my cock till it cracked, like a fancy ass The Crème Brulee Dessert.