A fork of Rural Dictionary
He was the sixteenth president of the United States who was the first one to coin the sex move an "Abe Lincoln" where one proceeds to jizz in another's face and throw pubes on the jizz creating a silly beard. He also invented Lincoln Logs and in his spare time hunted vampires attempting to free the slaves from the dark overlords of the South who were running the cotton industry. Vampires secretly created a contraption called the "tampon" where a woman stores it in her vagina during her time of the month leaving a discarded tasty snack to be consumed.
"I Abe Lincolned my friend when he was sleeping last night and he thought he finally hit puberty!"
"Well you certainly paid fine tribute to the man who saved the world from the dark plague of vampires. Abraham Lincoln you sun of a gun."
A pace at which one drinks much slower then when they would go out with friends, but still gets really drunk after drinking so many drinks with lengthy time gaps between each drink. Primarily origins derived from when one goes to a wedding which will last several long hours with many of those hours involving alcohol (did I mention FREE alcohol and OPEN BAR).
Mike - Hey dude what happened to your cousin Fertig the other day?
Zane - Man we were pregaming and were gonna come meet up with you and Austin to go to that party, but he got way too drunk and passed out after drinking as much as he could in an hour.
Mike - Thats too bad you missed out on a hell of a party there were girls making out, a midget dressed up as a leprechaun, and a dog almost started the house on fire!!
Zane - WHAT?!! Fertig should have used the wedding pace technique *sigh*.
When a band plays east harlem shakedown at an e-flat, while keeping the cymbals splashy. The band takes the baseline for a walk.
Tino: Would everybody love to hear Ron Burgundy play yazz flute?
Ron: Okay, I guess I can play a little ditty. Honestly though, I'm not prepared. Not at all. (as Ron slips a flute out of his sleeve)
A panicked split second decision a person makes at a street, cross walk, or parking lot. The person usually begins the first two feet in a hustled running motion only to precede swinging there arms in full motion as if they are running, but still moving at the speeds of a person walking.
Pedestrian: Oh no a car is coming but I have to walk across to get into Walmart! I better wait. Or should I run for it?? Time is running out I am scared.
Person in car: (gives the hand wave for pedestrian to go ahead)
Pedestrian: (Looks like a triathelete mixed with an old geezer as they slow-run the next six feet)
Person in car: (rolls down window and yells) What the hell are you doing? You are running the same speed and the person walking next to you idiot!