A fork of Rural Dictionary
When someones met with such a high level of stupidity and bullshit they just don't know how to respond.
Weirdo With a Tinfoil hat"Schools are brainwashing us! We come from the moon! We are moon babies who eat moon cheese!" Person"I don't even, i can't even..."
Something an arsehole whines when you treat them the same way they treat you. Double standards and hypocrisy at it's finest.
Andy:You ate my donut! How dare you! Brent:Screw you Andy! you always help yourself to my food and leave the damn wrappers in the fridge! Andy:Yeah well two wrongs don't make a right! Brent:Andy take your double standards and shove it up your arsehole! Treat people how you want to be treated you selfish hypocrite!
When someone cancels on you last minute with a weak excuse. Very common among flaky people.
Scenario 1: Brent "Hey Becki I'm almost there." Becki "Oh sorry Brent, I can't hangout anymore. I have to go shopping with my friends mum" Brent "Damn it Becki why do you always pull this last minute cancel bullshit!" Scenario 2: John"Oh hey Emily, I thought you were going out tonight?" Emily"Nat pulled some last minute cancel bullshit on me. Said she had to wait in for her sisters parcel!" John"Well that sucks, sorry mate"
The original dating website. Match, like all online dating is a pile of shit, but unlike Tinder and OK Cupid, there's a hefty membership fee . The people on there suck! The women are average looking with ridiculously high standards, wanting a perfect man. The men are desperate weirdos, or sugar daddies looking for hot young women. Their algorithm sucks, your "daily matches" are all selected completely randomly, you'll be lucky if it sends you someone the same age, or city as you, as well as sending you profiles that have already rejected you. Speaking of which, when someone rejects you on match you get a brutal automated rejection. The other thing is match is hella shady. They have a TON of fake and inactive profiles they keep to boost their numbers, as well as not telling you what profiles are free members meaning they don't have access to messages. Chances are the majority of people you're messaging can't reply or even read your messages. They also have an "auto renewal system" meaning if you don't cancel your membership before it's due to renew you automatically get charged for another 6 months, which match will refuse to refund. Thing is it takes 2 days to cancel the auto renewal. Many a poor bastard has been suckered into paying another 6 months for this shit trap. When you do cancel your membership, you'll instantly get an email saying you've got new messages, another trap. If you do renew it the messages are either be from bots or will magically disappear.
Bill: Ugh I'm so sick of how crappy tinder is! Man why is dating so hard? Chrissy: It's because you're using tinder, you should use match.com . It's a paid service so there's a higher calibre of people. Bill: Hmm maybe you're right, guess I'll give match a try. *several weeks later* Bill: Oh my god match fucking sucks! This shit is worse than tinder!
Someone who you'll act matey with when you're around each other, but you aren't actually friends. Neither of you will actually instigate hanging out nor contact each other. Tends to be someone who you see through a mutual friend, in school, at work, through a group etc.
Tim :Ugh I've got no plans this weekend, all my mates are busy Sal:Why don't you see Jerry, you guys always have a ball when you hangout! Tim:Nah mate he's only a Friendly Acquaintance, we're not actually friends sadly. Sal: Ah fairs.
When someone has lots of friends, they'll be a hierarchy going from bestie to last resort friend. The higher up you on the hierarchy the more events you'll be invited to secrets you'll be told.
Jess: Hey did Nat invite you to her birthday party? Brenda: Nope, she told me I'm not high enough on the friend hierarchy. She's only inviting besties and close friends. Brad: Shit did you hear Dan's engaged! Carl:Yeah, can't believe he got his girlfriend pregnant! Brad:Wait what? Carl:Shit I wasn't supposed to tell you that, you're too low on the friend hierarchy. Tim:Hey I heard you booked an escape room, can I come? Kath: I'm sorry but there's very few spaces, only those at the top of the friend hierarchy are coming. Tim: Ah ok, fair enough.