Country Dictionary

A fork of Rural Dictionary

Cat'n Crunch

n. A kitty litter box full of gravel-crunchy shit lumps and dry puddles of piss, an irresistible crunchfest for the canine species.

My dog Seabiscuit was crazy for Cat'n Crunch, no matter what I did to keep him away from the litterbox. His breath stank of catshit, even after he washed it down drinking from the toilet.

by saint_adventure October 13, 2014

Monolingus

n. Sex act with a female partner in which you push her legs up to her shoulders and lick her all the way from anus to clitoris nonstop. Incidental penetration allowed.

I held her thighs against her belly as I performed monolingus on her, all the way 'round.

by saint_adventure October 02, 2014

Ex-sex

n. The totally wrong but nearly universal phenomenon of fucking your Ex out of desperation, familiarity and/or pure poisonous hatred. (see: Hatefucking). Most common in the first dark six months after a breakup, and always trailed by feelings of self-loathing.

She would show up at my door after closing time at the strip club for months after we ended it, and I just couldn't resist the twisted appeal of sweaty rough ex-sex

by saint_adventure October 13, 2014

Fever Lever

n. The erect male penis. (prounounced 'fever leever')

He bared his fever lever and plunged it into my lovin' oven.

by saint_adventure October 03, 2014

Farmers Market

A girl with two very different sized breasts.

Her chest was a Farmers Market, but she only wanted me to enjoy the grapefruit on the right, not the poor lonely left lemon.

by saint_adventure October 01, 2014

Vagina Heater

n. The fully erect male penis on a cold morning.

My gf was shivering and goosebumpy on that cold morning when I had forgotten to turn up the furnace, so I promptly inserted my Vagina Heater between her legs, and she broke a sweat.

by saint_adventure October 17, 2014

Mastodon Hose

n. A very large penis.

I saw no way he was going to fit his Mastodon Hose inside me. Huge!

by saint_adventure October 03, 2014