A fork of Rural Dictionary
a state of complete vagrancy and utter drunkenness
"hey cakey, i thought you were paddy boot earlier you were that mortal"
a genuine interest as to the health of a man's penis
hey ronnie, how's your whippy today - did the cream you bought off marketplace do the trick?
the guarantee of copious volumes of free merchandise that never ever materialises
Billy: “Hey George, I’m starting at Campbell’s next week, I’ll be able to get you a freezer-full of fish” 20 years later Jake: “George, did you get billy’s fish”? George: “Absolutely fuck all, not even a fucking prawn. Freezer is still full of air”
black-coloured stones, sold on the pretence of being combustible coal
“Hey Wong, i’m paying you for coal you arsehole and you’ve given me coalstones, I may as well set fire to a brick”
the price you pay for daring to cross the brora bridge by foot due to drunks tapping you up for owl for vodka
“i need to go shopping but i can’t afford it due to the brora bridge toll… its fucking cheaper crossing the forth road bridge”
the promise of a very short timebound trip that inevitably becomes an event that far surpasses even paddy boot’s expectations
“its a bank holiday this weekend so i’m off to the co-op for a dozen loaves of bread… i’m gonna nip to the braes for a half on the way back” (12 hours later, wakes up in spearchuckers to the sound of guitar playing)
The act of becoming, and then swiftly unbecoming, ‘seen’. Typically occassioned through regular trips to Spar for discreet half bottles of vodka to then slam and become ‘unseen’ for a prolonged period
“i have just seen the most unseen, high-stepping with a bottle-shaped package and definitely ‘not without’, heading south… i think he will be living up to his name until at least Monday.