A fork of Rural Dictionary
A scale created by FEMA used to determine how bad a situation is. Green: Normal day, serves regular menu Yellow: Using the generator/limited food supply, serves the limited menu Red: YOUR ONLY CHANCE IS TO FUCKING PRAY (Things are bad, Waffle House is closed)
"Hey man things are really getting bad out there" "Is it really? The waffle house index will determine that"
-(noun)-with ref to sugar-alcohol-based artificial sweeteners; The difference in quantity between enough to result in the proband's uncontrolled production of foghorn-volumed flatulence, and the quantity which results in his making fizzy gravy.
Fartapeutic index of erythritol-high; FI of maltitol- dangerously low. Empirical data re the latter are published within the Amazon customer reviews of "sugar free jelly bears", the conclusion of the most authoritative of which reads "Jesus, my poor ringpiece".