A fork of Rural Dictionary
A swamp-like creature, displaced from its natural habitat, dressed to blend in yet somehow not quite hitting the mark.
Frank: Has anyone seen Mark, looks like a bit of a bearded alice?
Keith: Yeah he was in the canteen a few minutes ago, nesting amongst the lasagne.
The act of inserting ones fingers into the hairy vaginal orrifice of a female. Usually two to three fingers are inserted, although, depending on females' orrifice diameter, more fingers may be necessary. Normally fingers are held in a hook style position and rammed in and out at a pace intended to pleasure said female and aid her in becoming moist.
Jim and Eric where discussing the activities of the previous night.
Jim: Dude, that party was crazy last night! I
Know you were totally wasted. I saw you
disappear with that chick at like 3am.
You hit that son?
Eric: Yea dude it was awesome, i took her in
back room and smashed it. She was
ready to go after I got done shucking the bearded clam.
Jim: That's what's up man! So the puss was
nice and hairy Huh?
Eric: It was hairy, but I was too far gone to give
A fuck. I just needed to drain my balls.
Short for "douche-beard." An asinine beard sported by somebody who is trying to be a hipster. Does not need to be worn by an actual douchebag but this generally helps in identification of the species. With the current infatuation with beards, the d-beard is becoming more prevalent.
Did you see that guy just walk in? Color Me Bad wants their d-beard back.
Adj. The guy who grew a beard to fit in to his NEW friend group of craft beer drinkers & brewers to feel like he belongs.
That guy Matt is talking shit and criticizing a brewer's methods now because he's got a craft beard.
When a female parts her vaginal lips either to piss or to have things inserted in her!
Tanya love splitting the beard when she went for a piss!!
When she wiggling around on top then realises you have a beard on your snake.
'Damn,i was all up round his crotch when his bearded snake got me lost in his jungle'