A fork of Rural Dictionary
A class that teaches students about the English language. During the early years, English is a very useful, important, and most of all fun class. By middle school, however, English class becomes a redundant class where students are taught the exact same things (basic grammar and punctuation, paragraph structuring, etc) over and over again. By high school, the fun and useful class has been completely replaced by an idiotic course where too much emphasis is placed on over-analysis and essay writing (where the teacher usually tells the students to write a five page essay that could be easily done in three), and less emphasis on creativity. High school English is the period where many idiots get the impression that Shakespeare is the only playwright to exist in EVER and that no significant literature has been published since the late Victorian era.
An average English class:
English teacher: Today kids, we're going to go over basic grammar and punctuation for the five billionth time right before I start fellating Shakespeare!
Students: Hooray!
Possibly the gayest class on earth after 7-8th grade (Pre grade 7-8 VERY useful class). A class where one has to over analysis ever little detail in a play, story, essay etc.
Marks are solely based off what kind of teacher you have. You can have the teacher that really doesn't care that much and will give a mark of 80%+ for doing jack shit. Or you can have the kind of teacher that over analysis' ever sentence of your essay and as a result will reward you with a shitty mark (eg 60%) Even though you spent hours on the essay.
The final years of English (grade 11&12 especially 12)is, for some reason, the most important class to take and is technically the only "true" prerequisite for university or college (being that you can get into uni/college programs with only English and no need for math or the sciences and every uni/college program requires English).
In conclusion, English class can either be a walk through the park or hell on Earth for 5 months. Either way it requires you to over analysis ever little detail in plays, essays, stories etc. and make up bullshited thesis' and thematic statements that no one gives a RATS ASS ABOUT. It will usually become your most hated class (doesn't matter what teacher you have) because of the overall stupidity of it and the lack of actual knowledge gained.
Average teenage male after reading Hamlet in English class:
ATM: Wow, that was the gayest piece of shit I've ever read...
High School English teacher conversation:
Class A student: Hey, what'd you get on your essay, I got 90%
Class B student: 60% and I spent 4 hours on it I have a HARDASS teacher
Class A student: LOL I spent an hour and got 90%, I think it's because my teacher doesn't care though lol....
After 5 months of grade 12 English:
Bob: Hey what do you learn in English this year
Fred: Nothing, just like the previous years.
probably the most useless class in school. analyzing sentences and poems and crap for no good reason. all you can really do with your knowledge about it is say "i know what a sentence is" and "i know that shakespeare wrote some crap".
John: I love english class!
Sane person: *pulls out shotgun*
The place schools force you to go because they suck! The schooling system finds it *imperative* that we have to be able to analyze ancient epic poems and stupid stuff. Rated, on average, 0/69 🖕 😡
Me: "I have English class"
Everyone: "he has to waste his time"
The most useless class on the face of this planet if you live in an English speaking country. You basically get taught how to spell English words, how to use English grammar, and how to properly construct an English sentence.
Basically, if you live in an English speaking country, you are getting taught shit you already know. If you are an unlucky soul like me, you get assigned a DBQ (Document Based Question) where you have a stupid question like "Who Are The Outsiders", and then you have to read a background essay, answer questions, read all the documents and answer all the questions after each document. Then after THAT, you get to write a 3-4 paragraph essay on "Who Are The Outsiders". In other cases, the teacher will just make you write an essay about the most useless shit on Earth.
Sometimes, you get a vocabulary packet. Where I go to school, basically it's where you read a 9-10 paragraph essay that has 20-30 highlighted words. Then, after that, you go over all the words and their definitions. Then, you get to match the words with their definitions, match synonyms, match antonyms, and find out the central idea of the passage. Overall, their are about 65 questions on each packet. You must turn this in every week since each of these are worth 25% of your grade, and if you bring the wrong one, you are screwed.
In other words, the class sucks.
Why do I have to take English class if I already speak the goddamn language?
Worse torture than math class.
Person 1: This is soooo haaard.
Person 2: What? Math class?
Person 1: No, english class.
Person 2: I feel for ya buddy...
Classes that involve writing essays and reading text. Also known as the most boring type of class you will take in school. A hell of a lot different than math which is also known as the fun class.
I hate English class! Why can't everything be math?!!