A fork of Rural Dictionary
Middle to upper class white 30 to 45 year old moms that think every friggin thing is violent, except for their perfect little brats that they call children and their mini vans/elephant sized SUV's that use more gas than a plane going to Australia. Most of them are mind drones to their husbands who are the only provider of money seeing as none of them have jobs. They carry 100$ coffe, and a cell phone with them everywhere. And most of the time their vocal chords hurt from screaming their kids name at his or her soccer/baseball game 24/7. They want to censor everything that isn's christian, because its "evil." and feel only G rated movies and E rated video games are suitable for their bratty as hell kids. One of the most ignorant people around, because they think anything that isn't christian, white, and swear and or violence free is damed to hell.
"that soccer mom just cut me off in her gianst SUV cause she's late for her brat's soccer game, now i have a fender bender that she blamed on me"
One of those moms you see in game stores who freaks the fuck out at managers for "polluting th minds of our youth". The soccer mom(read: bitch will commonly cut you off in traffic without warning, and then honk rapidly. On the back of her blue minivan/SUV there is ALWAYS a stupid generic soccer ball sticker. There are also about 2 to 3 stickers saying "my little fucker is an honor roll student at _____ Middle School."
In my local mall one day, I was just going into the music store to buy a new CD. I had my headphones on and was listening to my favorite band, Rammstein. A soccer mom(carrying PETA-endorsing stickers and pamphlets) approached me and yelled at me about my "Nazi pollution"(she could obviously hear it). I took my kickass German CD out and loaded it into one of the store's useable stereos, and turned the volume to the max. Bitch.
1.A middle to upper-class post-baby boomer woman, usually white, who usually spends her time homemaking. Her children are her whole world, and she considers them to be the exceptions to every rule. She cannot control them and expects everyone else to deal with that. She loves trendy diets and hair styles, is fashionably late to her children's sport practices, and insists that her children's teachers do not challenge them enough. Debate rages over her political leanings, but regardless, she feels that her and her family are moral soldiers, making sure that those who have "questionable" character are ignored, shunned, and avoided. She lives in the suburbs and drives an expensive SUV that her husband had lifted into the stratosphere, even though it will undoubtedly never be taken off-road once. Can frequently be seen standing in line in coffee shops and pays for a pack of gum with a debit card. 2.An object of sexual infatuation for many young men between 20 and 40.
Out of all the people Jenny dealt with at her job at the bank, she hated soccer moms the most.
A 30 to 50 year old woman, usually straight, whose whole life revolves around their children and "empowering" themselves by trying to censor anything even remotely violent, vulgar, or bad in any way. Some have tattoos just to show how tough and empowered they are. Their children are usually maladjusted due to their parents not letting them see anything remotely "bad" or vulgar, even when they are teenagers. As implied by the name, their children play sports, usually soccer. Soccer moms can be identified by a generic sticker on the back of their car, or a "My child is an honor student at <insert school> Middle School" bumper sticker. They also drive SUVs even though they do not need them, and cause many accidents. They are very active in their children's school activities.
That soccer mom is always at the PTA meetings!
Contrary to Definition 44, a Soccer Mom is not a selfless, sainted holy person providing for her angelic children. She is usually white, 30-45 years of age, and is forever boring everyone around her with stories about her kids soccer skills. The cell phone, starbucks coffee and large minivan/suv are invariably part of her identity. Also she is consumerist, wasteful, oblivious to her effect on others, lives in a bland suburb and is usually a right wing Christian fanatic. Has no career aspirations. Bitch. A waste of ammunition
The brainless soccer mom drove 80 in the 30 zone while taling on her phone and driving her kids to soccer.
Beasts from hell. They will try to censor anything. Responsible for Columbine and Sadamm ever being the dictator of Iraq. Drive large things known as minivans, which are usually larger than normal vans. Take their kids to soccer games and cheer them on all the time, even when their kid sucks more balls than a 3 cent chinese whore. Their minivans are sized between that of an M2A3 Bradley and M1A2 Abrams Main Battle Tank.
Sergeant Ha was in his M2A3 when he saw a soccer mom who was late for getting to see her kid's soccer game rushing towards his tank. He quickly fired off a missile, destroying the monstrosity and her personnel carrier. What's that? What about her family? No problems, just fire a missile or 654 at their house.
A suburban stay at home cumdumpster who thinks that her opinions count for anything. Usually seen driving an overpriced SUV, talking on her cell phone, and yelling at her kids for stepping on the Macy's bags-all at the same time. Have a tendency to smugly advertise, with bumper stickers, basically everything. Are known for lobbying for tougher alcohol regulations, gun laws, and censorship. Just another good reason to make the laws about homicide more lenient.
"Holy shit! Some soccer mom in her Escalade nearly ran me off the road because she was talking on her cell phone instead of paying attention to the road.