A fork of Rural Dictionary
When someone is very very very old. Derived from the fact that Charlton Heston played Moses in a movie, when in fact he was probably alive at the same time Moses was actually alive. Hess comes from the first few letters of Heston's last name.
I saw a Hess at the beach today, he had wrinkles on top of his wrinkles. The gym had to call an ambulence today when a Hess tried to use the stairmaster.
In the online gaming community, To 'get hessed on' is to be beaten by someone vastly superior, after which the 'hessor' berates the 'hessee' over chat or voice coms. See also Get on my level
Loser: How did you hit me with that hatchet from nearly 200 yards away? Winner: Because you're a baddie. Get hessed on!
To make fun of and/or back sass someone -in a sarcastic tone- for saying something that you don't care to hear.
"I'm going to bed." "Alright Hess..."
Author. Almost as likely to get you into Eastern philosophy as J. D. Salinger.
"Dude, I read Siddhartha by Herman Hesse the other day and now I wanna be Buddhist."