A fork of Rural Dictionary
A stupid bitch who say their "sweet little angels"/bratty teenybopper kids are more important than anything in this fucking world. They are usually seen at Price Chopper buying 74894845894848794894896589589 pounds of shitty vegetables and not good stuff. The kids are brainwashed into thinking they are the best and are usually popular at school. They are only allowed to listen to shitty stuff like S Club 7 and B*Witched.
Who the fuck needs an example.
A soccer mom is a mom that lives in the suburbs,usually a homemaker,middle class or middle high class from the ages from 30-50 that have children.A soccer mom transport all her kids and everyone elses kids in either a minivan,sherman tank suv or a stationwagon.A soccer mom thinks her kids are angels when in reality the kids are a bunch of spoiled brat devils.A soccer mom life is very uniformed and want to keep up with the jones.When see a soccer mom by herself in her mini van or sherman tank suv means all the kids have been dropped off all school events.A soccer mom hang out paradise is a mall and spend tons of money on over price clothes for herself and the kids.May go for an overprice coffee.A cell phone is a soccer mom best friend to avoid those quiet moments to shoot the gossup with all rest of the soccer mom clan.A soccer mom version of dinner for the kids is go to mcdonalds and get the kids a happy meal.The type of music that a soccer mom will play for the kids is music from radio disney because it sound so wholesome.It is music for the whole family.A soccermom is an obsessed christian thinking if it isnt christian it is evil.Alot of soccer mom join organizations MAHR,PMRC,ESRP or some censorship group to think they are going to change the world and make it wholesome.A soccer mom doesn't believe in being an individual.A soccer mom want to become part of a bandwagon.A soccer lives a lifestyle being molded and sculpted on what society want her to be.
My example of a soccer mom driving in traffic is cutting everyone off in traffic.Have a hard time finding a parking space for the sherman tank suv.A soccer mom is known to be driving with a coffee on one hand and a cell phone on the other hand.May barely reach the steering wheel.
That bitch in the SUV who almost ran you over this morning because you had the nerve to try to cross her street at a crosswalk, when the little "walk" man was green, despite the fact that she had over one hundred feet to slow her fat ass down before crowding you out of the lane, which she wanted to use to make a right turn without signaling. Don't worry, she didn't see you: she was on her cell phone talking to some other soccer mom slut, and is therefore incapable of perceiving, acknowledging or responding to any outside influence or displaying any semblance of situational awareness that might prevent her from running you over. In fact, even though the law guarantees you the right of way as a pedestrian, you should always yield to the soccer mom or in general the dodge driver or SUV driver, so her fat kid can in fact get to soccer practice five seconds sooner: he needs the exercise.
To identify a soccer mom listen for the phrase -- "Fucking bitch, watch where you're going and get off the phone!" We should all be nicer to soccer moms...they have it rough. Its hard to drink Starbucks, talk on your cell phone too loudly in public, run pedestrians over in your SUV and single-handedly change the movie, TV and video game rating system all at the same time. The soccer mom should not be confused with the conventional stay-at-home-mom, who actually stays home, supports her family and raises children who don't grow up to be money-grubbing scoundrel frat boy/girls who are incapable of contributing to society, but rather raises well-mannered respectable young adults that don't make you want to puke every time you see them.
A burden to the human race, a scourge of humanity, a disgusting demon from Hell. The reason for such atrocities like the ESRB, v-chips, and the freakin' FCC. Soccer moms are a subspecies of humans, like monkeys and chimpanzees. They are often middle-aged and blonde, but they act like they're 20 and they often wear track pants to show of their disgusting hippo-ass that will make you vomit. They think their little, bratty, teeny boppers spawned from the radioactive shit from the asshole of Satan. Seriously, their kids are like demons! Soccer moms often force their offspring to do some sort of after school (soccer, baseball, football, etc.). Soccer moms also have very strict rules.
Me: *listening to Banana 101.5 in my Dad's car while he gets some smokes and beer* Soccer Mom: You turn that awful garbage off this instant! Me: *turns it up* SM: TURN IT OFF YOU AWFUL MONSTER, MY CHILDREN ARE TO SPACES DOWN!!! Me: Fuck you. SM: *angry groan* YOU... YOU...*stomps off in anger* Me: What a bitch.
Generally speaking, a soccer mom is an upper middle class white woman from the suburbs. But soccer moms can be divided into two categories: -Mrs. Foo Foo- She was born into an upper middle class family. Her daddy payed her way through college, where she met "hubby" (who, of course, was majoring in business). She was married straight out of college, and has never had to work a day in her life because "hubby" is now some sort of douchebag in middle management. Despite "hubby" only making $80,000/year, she still likes to convince herself that he makes well into the six figures. She attempts to show this off by her large ass SUV and her daily trips to the local mall. She is in her late 20s, and 30/40s, and still tries to shop in the juniors sections, and constantly talks about her sorority back in college. She is a member of the PTA and the "Christian stay at home moms basket weaving club" at her church, although back in college she'd suck a dick at the drop of a hat. She lives vicariously through her daughters, which is why you will find her in her fold up chair definitely wearing capris, at the YMCA youth league soccer team cheering on her future little prom queen, who by the way is the best cheerleader on her $8,000 a year cheerleading team. If she has sons, he is of course "Mr. Athlete." This is not by choice of the child. ALL of her children are blond, even if she and her husband are both brunettes. Her children do not know the father, since he constantly away on his business trips screwing his secretary. This, of course causes his daughters to grow up with a "daddy complex," where they sleep with anything with a pulse and a penis to get that male attention, therefore, continueing the Mrs. Foo Foo tradion, and his sons grow up to have a drugs problem. Mrs. Foo Foo and her husband are hardcore conservative Republican. Soccer mom number 2 is: Mrs. Frumpy- Mrs. Frumpy was born into a middle class blue collar family. She has always wanted nothing more than to be a mom. Her husband works a blue collar job barely making $40,000 a year working 12 hours a day, because she refuses to get a job because "Jesus intended for moms to stay at home with their little ones." Her hobbies include scrapbooking, clipping coupons, and being president of the PTA and the "Christian stay at home moms basket weaving club," and of course, her children. She is madly obsessed with her children. She only lets her 14 year old listen to Radio Disney or the Christian family songs station. Any video game not radio "E" is inappropriate. The more extremist "Mrs. Frumpies" are homeschoolers, for they feel anything that is not Christian is evil, so it shall never come in contact with her children. You can find Mrs. Frumpy on her picnic blanet at the YMCA youth soccer league games with her 4 kids, cheering on junior. Mrs. Frumpy's daughters will not play soccer, because Jesus did not intend for little girls to be rough and tough.
Mrs. Foo Foo is the skinny ugly blonde bitch in that big ass SUV with the "W" sticker on the back, hauling her kids to as many activities as possible, soccer mom Mrs. Frumpy is that fat ugly, mini van driving, Christian zealot hauling her daughters to ballets, and sons to soccer, soccer moms.
A middle-aged, middle-upper class woman who generally drives an SUV, a minivan or a station wagon (the latter of which is rarely seen in this era), and lives in a suburban area such as Parsippany, New Jersey, my hometown. They believe that their children are the most important things in the world, and refuse to let them listen to any music other than Top 40 radio, play any violent video games, or let them watch TV without them nearby, as any of these could supposedly corrupt their fragile minds. They are generally members of the local PTA, and have their kids participate in as many after-school programs as possible, so they could have themselves some "me" time. They usually put soccer ball stickers on their bumpers, tailgates, or gas caps, and are especially notorious for popularizing the infamous "honor student" bumper stickers. Soccer moms are usually homemakers, especially if they have young children, and live of the income generated by their well-paid husbands.
My next-door neighbor Liz Gonzales is a soccer mom.
moms that drive mini-vans, all they care about is their kids, if their kids aren't playing enough in a sports game she will most definitely be yelling at the coach from the stands. She is very involved with the school, always doing snack day and carpooling. And she's annoying to everyone else but her best friend, who is also a soccer mom.
"let my kid play!!!" - soccer mom