A fork of Rural Dictionary
Something white people say when they are suprised by something
Joe: Bro I got accepted into my dream college John: well butter my backside and call me biscuit
Used to express dismay or disbelief.
Well you know what? Slap my ass and call me Sally man, I don't know what you want from me.
to punctuate desperation in order to change a circumstance
Attending a tedious cocktail party from which Billy D finds himself pinned in a conversation from which there is no relief. Standing there, minute after minute, taking it all in and wanting nothing more that to be home in bed; he feels his stomach turn and tighten, cold and sweat outline him, he wants out; his Gucci suit minimizes. His scalp itches and hots up suffocating under the conversation and the people. Suddenly, a well-groomed accountant next to him barks out, "Current data from my data extrapolated to further the outcomes on the Harrington Report confirms a speculation that the market trend should ..." At that point, Billy D. has his Dickens’ moment; his steamed brain snaps. A growling hum exits his thorax inexplicably. The accountant eyes him -- a dik dik to an approaching lion. Billy D. holds the accountant’s eyes way too long in primeval contact. He raises his eyebrows up and down as the masturbator in Dostoyevsky’s famous novel . He wanted the floor; he wanted to express something real; now he had the floor and total control; they were fixated. Then he let go the phrase that would end his tenure at the conversation hell-school of life and liberate him from their hold now and forever. He gave it up, loud and proud in rainbow fashion, "Well, spank my butt and call me Nancy." And that was it. It was all over. Their grip on him came crashing down. What he was in others' eyes now permitted him to leave the group without question or guilt forever it would be different.
Used when someone is surprised or angry
1.) Gas prices went down 50 cents? Well, tickle my anus and call me Samantha! 2.) THAT BITCH SHARKEESHA TRIED TO STEAL MY MAN?! TICKLE MY ANUS AND CALL ME SAMANTHA, CUZ IMMA KILL A BITCH!
A phrase used to show suprise, or disbelief. Substitute for woah or wow
"Dude I'm down at time square, where are you" "At home, why?" "Dude, some lady is standing on one of those big signs with a poodle and a rifle, get down here!" "Well, suck my dick and call me nancy! I'll be there!"
Expletive; usually used to express extreme dismay or anger in a situation deemed as very surreal or upsetting. It is appropriate in instances where one can do very little to improve upon a terrible situation, and therefore can only find recourse in swearing and/or expression of rage. "Cunt" may be substituted for "bitch" if an even stronger pejorative is desired; adjectives can be added on to "ass" and "bitch" if further appropriation is necessary.
Listen, I'm very sorry to tell you this, but I told her about your relationship with Lizzy and I doubt that she will ever get over it." "Thanks for screwing up my life, asshole! Fuck my ass and call me a bitch, huh!?
An exclamation to be used when in great surprise or shock.
Man, suck my knob and call me Charlie!!!!