A fork of Rural Dictionary
This is a creature that stalks u in the wee hours of the nite. They live under bridges and have an ass for a face with sharp ass teeth. if u come in contact with one, play dead, it will smell u and crap on your leg. This is its way of showing his territory.
oh my god its an Assgoblin!!!! Run!!!!!!!!
little blue critters that live in teapots and come out at night to teabag unsuspecting straight guys
"Man, those assgoblins got me last night"
"those assgoblins had massive balls"
though the other definitions cover wat an assgoblin is, i would like to reveal their history which has been shrouded in mystery for centuries.
They were the spawn of some perverted leprechauns with an anus fetish were condemed by god to be ugly, green and lick/eat ass for the rest of eternity. they have bred over the centuries and are located around the globe. their culture is similar to the culture of people where they live, with slight irish and ass-worshipping rituals thrown in. when found trustworthy, they will befriend humans and sometimes inter-breed. Danny Devito is rumored to be one such half-ass-goblin. i know all of this from an assgoblin i befriended in New York. at the time i was young and knew nothing of the assgoblins inteligence, which is similar to humans, with the exception of annoyingly squeaky voices and anus-licking tendencies. different races of assgoblin are denoted by number of toes
My friend, Ning Nong The Three Toed Ass Goblin lives in New York and has his own line of designer clothes and a pub where crossbreeds(such as Danny Devito) and ass-goblins gather and converse about asses freely
Assgoblins is a term for herpies of the asshole. The pain and sores are cuased by constant bites and sratches of the Assgoblins living in your anal crevice. Some people have intence forms of Assgoblins and some even have a city of Assgoblins in their gluteus maximus hole. Either way, if you suspect to have an Assgoblin or even a village of Assgoblins in your ass crack, then seek medaical attention immediately.
Bob: dude, i think i got a case of assgoblins
Frank: shit son, get that checked. i herd they spred like Paris Hilton's legs.
Bob: ah shit man i dont want assgoblins
Frank: well it looks like ur fucked my friend.
Little green men, often confused with asselves and assfairies, they dance around a campfire lit by methane within the outer anus of a man. They perform ass-ceremonies all night until the "crack" (AHAHAHA A PUN) of ass-dawn.
John Travolta is an assgoblin, who lives down the street