A fork of Rural Dictionary
If you find a Coulton don’t let him go because he is the best person in this world.
He is kind, thoughtful, funny, smart, down to earth, handsome and his lips are to die for.
Coulton is your future husband and the father of your children.
How can you not love him ?
Everything about him is special so if you already have a Coulton in your life you’re the happiest person in the world.
The way Coulton smile makes me fall in love with him over and over again.
A former programmer turned singer/songwriter. First achieved notoriety with his folk rendition of "Baby Got Back". Wrote "Still Alive", the credits song in Portal; and "Code Monkey", which is now the theme song for the G4 show of the same name. Has six albums on iTunes and two podcasts. Possibly the only artists immune to the effects of fame and money.
Jonathan Coulton is the shit
A songwriting genius. His music is sort of folk-rockish and has nerdy lyrics involving zombies, nerd love and evil masterminds.
Some great songs by Jonathon Coulton:
Re: Your Brains
The Future Soon
Code Monkey
I Crush Everything
Skullcrusher Mountain
Typically has a small penis.. but a very large heart. He loves b(ass). Great with his hands. Wears size 10 1/2 slippers. Probably owns a row boat. Usually has a mom named Vicki. Most of the time he’s the baddest motherfucker in the room.
Coulton Lentz is a unicorn
Ignoring your best friends in a group chat
Ahhh classic Brandon, he’s doing a coulton on us!!!