A fork of Rural Dictionary
Acronym for the necessities of a teenager or college student, in the order that they do them when they get home. It stands for eat masturbate sleep.
"I'm playing COD when I get home." "I'm too tired for that. I'll just EMS."
Emergency Masturbation Secession To masturbate; To Fuck oneself
Dude, I totally just EMSed - I totally just masturbate *Lame joke told* "Go EMS right now! not even kidding, now!" - "Go Fuck yourself!"
In reply to someone where a smart-assed comment is to be expected: You could say EMS Eat My Shorts. Another like reply would be BM Bite Me. I didn't see that last one on your site either.
Excessive Masturbatory Syndrome When one masturbate's frequently often at a minimum of six times a day. Often times these individuals often pass up actual sex in order to masturbate.
Tamara: Hey Tom wanna go out on a date tonight and maybe get laid after? Tom: Na it's ok I still have to EMS 3 more times tonight.