Country Dictionary

Jokes invented by Yakov Smirnoff, involving the comparisons of things in the United States and the Soviet Union.

"In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drives you!" "In America, you go to parties. In Soviet Russia, party goes to you!" "In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you!" "In America, you define dictionary. In Soviet Russia, dictionary defines you!" "In America, you shoot gun. In Soviet Russia, gun shoots you!"

Originated with Cold War comic genius Yakov Smirnoff. In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, party always finds you. -- Yakov Smirnoff Popular on slashdot, appearances on Family Guy, The Simpsons, Futurama.

In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you.

A quote used by people who think they're slav and try to tell someone how hard it was back home.

In Soviet Russia, you don't cook food, Food cook you

In Soviet Russia, definition adds you!

A place where the opposite of the norm happens. As shown in the example, instead you driving the car...

In Soviet Russia, car drives you!

A beautiful place full of communism. Everything here is backwards

In Russian accent: "in soviet russia, you do not kill communists, COMMUNISTS KILL YOU!"

While most of the other definitions on this topic are technically correct, none of them attribute the joke to its originator, Yakov Smirnoff, an actor and standup comedian who is pretty recent and also still alive. I can't believe the contributors to this definition were so stupid that they think a joke by a comedian who was incredibly famous during the late 80s and is still very famous is actually a joke that just "comes from the internet"!

In soviet russia, contributors to internet sites probably know what they're talking about, because they don't here.