A fork of Rural Dictionary
A state with two seasons... Summer and January 14th.
I went to Florida for Christmas break... It felt like I was there for SPRING Break.
The only state in the country where the further north you go, the further south you get. Also a lovely place to retire.
If I retire rich, I will probably live in or around Miami, but if I retire poor, I'll probably retire up North near the panhandle, in a trailor, with my dog Rufus. someone kill me
FLORIDA: Full of old retired people who will call the cops on you for ANYTHING you do.
Scott: *lights firworks on 4th of July* Old-fucking-neighbor: *calls cops* Scott: YOU FUCKING BITCH! Old-fucking-neighbor: turn your music down Scott: FUCK YOU! *bird* Old-fucking-neighbor: *calls cops* Scott: *takes paintball gun outside* Old-fucking-neighbor: *worries* *calls cops* Scott: FFS! Go fucking retire somewhere! Scott: awww shit, thats what your doing now!?
America's wang (see: America's wang)
Homer simpson: We can't go to Florida... thats America's wang! *points at the dick-like state of Florida*
n. An absolute mess. v. To ruin things for others, by being an absolute mess.
DeSantis' drunk mistress was florida all over the inauguration party. His best man was so drunk he florida'd that speech about the groom's sexcapades. The state of Florida really florida'd another election with another florida of a recount.
The only state in the U.S. where the number of natural disasters in a year is more than the number of smart politicians.
Hurricanes or morons? People of Florida have to pick their poison, sometimes even both.
Southernmost South Eastern state in the Union. This place is absolutely gorgeous, great fishing and golfing. Florida is the gateway to discovery and I love almost every part of it, especially the Keys where the immortal Hemingway used to roam. Do like Jimmy Buffett and live your floridays, blues skies and ultraviolet rays
Florida is the golf capital of the world.