A fork of Rural Dictionary
"The" former girlfriend that you went out with for a long time, should have married but didn't, and today is the object of your secret, social-media only tryst. I mean, after all, you never see her anyway, even though you wish you could.
G: "Been in touch with Lucy?"
B:"I haven't seen her in years, man. Why would you ask me that?"
G: "Dude, everyone knows she's your ex-girlwife."
A stranger you befriend on Facebook that you have never met. You fall in love with them because their Facebook posts and interests totally turn you on but the moment you meet them in person, you realize this relationship is not forever...
Jim thought Antoinette's puppy video she posted was the cutest thing he ever saw, until he actually met her. Sadly, it was only Facebook love, she was a fantasy, she was just his facelover.
A celebration gone bad. When an actual cake is used, the suggestion is to smell the cake, then the recipient of the cake has their face pushed into it.
Jerry bought a Porsche thinking he had a promotion in the bag! Instead he got fired. Time to smell the cake.
When your friend becomes completely useless for an entire day because he/she must watch sports on tv for twelve straight hours.
Dave: Julie, it's gorgeous outside. Let's hit the mountains on our bikes!
Julie: Dave! The Rams are on at 1, the Bears are on at 4, and the Pats are on at 7!
Dave: Oh yeah, right...Ok. I'll call Sasha because quite obviously, you are sundincapable of getting off your ass!|
A person who started out with nothing, became rich along the way, but still remains classless, filthy and lacks etiquette.
Bob has money to burn, but his greasy hair , stained shirt, smelly socks and unwashed hands clearly show he's a dirty nailer.
Clicksterbaiting is when someone has something of value for sale and posts it online just to seek a reaction when in reality they will never sell the item, they just want to have people say great things about it so they’ll feel good about themselves.
Jimmy had a first appearance of Spider-Man comic book. He posted pictures of it on his social with the caption “not sure if I should sell it or keep it!” He knew it was going anywhere, he was just clicksterbaiting.
Finding an old crush on Facebook who rejected your advances back in the day, and choosing not to befriend them because, man, they turned out fugly and well, you are pretty good looking.
G: Yo, found Andrea D on the FB
T: Y'all friends now?
G: Man, she fugly, don't want to revisit that.
T: You finally got yourself some face vindication brah!