A fork of Rural Dictionary
A last resort action, which involves stroking your beard three times, then uncorking a backhanded slap of a male individual, who typically works at a smoke shop and thinks time and respect only have relevance when it pertains to him.
I was talking with James the other day, and he said that turd at the smoke shop belittled him after being late by over one hour. Unfortunately for the old boss man at the shop, he wasn’t talking to any regular driver, and after about two minutes of his senseless rambling James Spence Slapped the fuck out of him. Took James twenty minutes to make the delivery and guy was still out cold!
Is a term used to describe an individual that makes a female feel secure enough in the relationship that she decides to give him her bunghole virginity, and upon finishing the deal, is never heard from again, thus robbing her virgin ass.
I’m telling you right now, if I ever see that dickhead Ryan , I’m going to beat his ass. My best friend Shauna fell for this douche, and after a couple of months was persuaded by Ryan to take it in the ass. Turns out that Asshat was a Bunghole Bandit, and after robbing her of the sweet, innocent, pure, perfectly good ass, Shauna hasn’t been the same. She was going to marry the man she gave the brown nectar up to, but now it looks like she may be single forever. Maybe I should try to hit it come to think of it. Thanks Ryan!
When a female in labor makes the final push to get the baby out, but lays a fart so long and loud it measures on the Richter scale.
Jesus, while Melissa was in labor with our son Jake and she made the final push to get him out, she dropped the loudest fart that had to measure on the Richter scale. It may have been the first ever Birthquake!
An individual who upon first sight, are deemed to be worthy of you blowing a load in or on.
The moment I laid eyes on Bonnie, I knew she was Loadworthy.
Candemic is a word used to describe the transmission of a sometimes lethal, sometimes mundane, worldwide virus by strictly having intercourse in the ass aka the can and upon transmission, unfortunately becomes ground zero for the pandemic.
I was talking to Cramer last week and apparently old dumper queef Keith is ground zero for the new flesh eating dong disease that has started to spread. I guess because its transmitted through anal sex he’s started a candemic!
Is an acronym which stands for Oversized Cock Disorder, and describes an individual who is packing at least 10 inches
I was going to put the hurt on Donna last night until she informed me her last boyfriend had O.C.D. I said what’s the big deal about obsessive compulsive disorder, there are ways to handle it. She responded by saying there is no way to “handle” someone with OCD, then informed me it stands for Oversized Cock Disorder. I asked how big this dong was, and she informed me 12 inches hard. Needless to say, I would have to give it to her 6 times if she wanted 12 from this guy. Ouch!
Is a term used to describe the dick of a human male that rivals that of a horse.
You wouldn’t believe the things women say to me about my gigantic cock. As a matter of fact, I met this girl Renee on Saturday and as I dropped my trousers to unveil the Cadillac of dongs, she proceeded to tell me it was Horsedickulous! Completely taken aback by her comment, I asked if she was insulting me, to which she said no, your dick is so ridiculously big, it looks like it belongs on a horse. After delivering the Dong for what seemed to be an eternity, I bounced expecting to never see or hear from her again. I’ve ran across my fair share of women, but this Renee is a top of the line Horsedick Hound, and I’m a little worried she’s going to seriously injure me, or worse, cut off my meaty member and make a bronze replica. If you know a bodyguard for dongs, please contact me!