A fork of Rural Dictionary
A mechanical condition where your car leaks fluids, blows smoke, and makes horrible noises...until you take it to the shop and the mechanic can't find anything wrong with your vehicle. After spending $45 an hour for a diagnostic check which revealed nothing, the vehicle runs perfect.
Customer: "The Check-Engine Light and Service Engine Soon Light both came on. I smelled a burning smell, like something electrical. Then there was this grinding noise on the right side." Mechanic: "I drove it around for 30 minutes and I didn't hear or smell anything. If you notice anything, bring it back and we'll deduct the price of today's service from the repair." Customer: "I think my car's suffering from Vehicular Hypochondria! I swear it sounded like it was going to die! Now it's perfect. Go figure!"
Dirty person. Seedy. Slutty. Low-class. Trashy. Filthy. Whorish. Skank.
She's a tramp, a schkeevatz; low class.
People you know from church, but are not really friends with outside of church. They notice you at Wal-Mart on Sunday afternoon after you skipped church that day and approach you to announce that they missed you in church, expecting either a doctor's note or an explanation as to where you were.
Wife: "Shoot! I ran into the Church Police while I was at Wal-Mart." Husband: "Who was it?" Wife: "Betty and George." Husband: "Did they say anything?" Wife: "Yeah. 'We missed you today at church.'" Husband: "What'd you say?" Wife: "One of the kids was sick."
A convenience store and/or gas station owned by anyone of Middle Eastern or Indian ethnicity.
I'll be right back, I've got to run down to the Haji Mart and get some chips and soda and fill up the car.
That warp in the space-time continuum that happens when you get on the computer "for a few minutes" to check your email and the next time you look at the clock, it's 4 hours later. Similar to what happened to people in the movie "Looker". Also akin to the NFL minute.
Man: "Honey, I'll be up for dinner in a few minutes, I've got to check my email." Woman: "You said that last night. By the time you check your email, read the headlines, check your stocks, play Zuma, look for car parts on eBay, watch a few YouTube videos and download music to your iPod, it'll be midnight! A few minutes in 'computer time' is like a few years in dog years!" Man: "True dhat!"
Forget about it. It ain't gonna happen. I think not. No way, Jose. The answer is...no. Not likely.
"If he thinks I'm paying this bill when it was his fault the car died, he's got another thing coming. Fugheddaboudit!
A set of items which can be used in any fix-it applications. An Italian tool kit consists of a paint scraper, which can be used as an ice scraper, a chisel, a screw driver, a griddle cleaner, a BBQ scraper, a pry bar, a box cutter, a fly swatter. There is also a hammer which can be used like a hammer, but not usually. A hammer is used when a screwdriver is not handy or is too time-consuming. The claw end of the hammer can be used to open bottles. A wire coat hanger: This can be used to stir paint, open a locked car door, replace the car's radio antenna, clean a clogged drain, clean the vent on a clothes dryer. Electrical tape: much more precise than that old Redneck Duct tape, which BTW loses it's sticky. Electrical tape will be around for decades longer than duct tape.
"Yo, Benny! Go in the Italian tool kit and get the paint scraper, I need to open the window; I forgot my keys on the kitchen counter!