A fork of Rural Dictionary
The flaming homosexual's response when someone says "I feel like I've run a marathon".
Exhausted person: I feel like I've run a marathon.
Shirtlifter: Its called Snickers now, Lovey!
A wrinkly old witch with enormous gnashers. This foul specimen is so physically repugnant that only a porky, boring security guard will have anything to do with it. Goofy and Porky walk around wearing shades, thinking they're young and trendy whereas really they're a pair of tedious pensioners addicted to garlic bread.
Is there anyone in the world ugly enough to go out with the Porky Scotcher?
Yep. Goofy Granny. She's one ugly bitch.
Excellent choice, sir. The two ugliest, most tedious individuals on Earth.
The vilest, sickliest and cheapest contents of a Snufbag. Officially classed as food but should never be consumed by humans. Ethiopians have been known to turn their noses up at these foul creations, choosing starvation instead.
Mickus: What's in this week's Snufbag?
Mum: A bag of crisps and 18 packets of Hill biscuits.
Mickus: OK, throw me the crisps and shove the shit down the bog where it belongs.
The world's finest pizza topping. The pizza of choice of fat security guards it consists of a Marguerita pizza topped with pork and gravy.
Why is that security guard so fucking fat?
You'd be fat if you ate 3 Pork Scotch pizzas every day.
The worst type of Granny Wagon in the world. A shitty little red toilet on wheels driven by a hideous old gargoyle with teeth like green surfboards.
Sweet Jesus! A gargoyle driving a toilet!
Oh shit, its the Goofy Granny Wagon. Piss off you foul dentist dodger!
A walkie-talkie carried by fat security guards.
Hey look at the fat guy with the walkie-talkie!
I think you'll find that's a porky-talkie. They're especially for fat ugly security guards like Pork Scotch.
Imaginary friends. People who simply don't exist. A bit like Facebook friends. Named for the fact that Pork Scotch has no friends at all because he is such a complete twat.
Monk: So who's coming to this barbecue then? Pork Scotch's friends?
Dad: You're talking stupid. Pork Scotch doesn't have any friends. He has Pork Scotch friends.