A fork of Rural Dictionary
The one word that will get your boss / parent / authority figure to give you the "deer in headlights" look and leave you alone. Regardless of what is being discussed; i.e. 1)drawn out over explained instructions on how to do a simple task 2) Typical Parental Lecture 3)"Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over?" situations. Instructions On Use: Step One - Wait For Pause In Assailents Ranting Step Two - Make Convincing And Direct Eye Contact Step Three - Say "Absolutely Boss, Dad , Officer, Etc." Step Four - Walk Away And Proceed Going About Your Business
BOSS: "Hey (your name) Im glad I found you. Look Ive got a bit of a situation. You see Tim was sick today, and that means that his typical collateral duties of emptying the trash in the managers office hasnt been completed. I know you know how big an issue this is. I mean wow if I could just get you to..." YOU: "Absolutely" (remember to lock eyes and put on your best "Im not stupid" face) BOSS: ............. YOU: (proceed to carry on about your business as if nothing happened)
An interjection indicating affirmation in the extreme. Even more extreme than "sure," much more than "yup," and a world away from "uh huh." Used primarily to bullshit people into thinking you agree with something they said and that, of all people, you know what they're talking about. The former may or may not be true, but the latter seldom is.
Glenn Beck: We've already proven that Barack Obama's birth certificate was printed in 2005 at a Kinko's in Alexandria Virginia, which proves he's a Kenyan Muslim socialist. You know what I mean? Teabagger: Absolutely! See you at the march!
To do something with a furious intensity.
I absolutely ate potato chips last night instead of a real dinner.
When you put absolute before an insult, you make its career ending abilities 10x stronger by making the victim feel dumb.
Without: Guy 1: What’s 3 times 4? Guy2: I’m not answering that you dunce! Guy 1: :( With: Guy 1: what’s 3 times 4? Guy 2: I’m not answering that you absolute dunce! Guy 1: I don’t feel so good D:
Third album by the British band MUSE considered by many to be their best. Considered by others to be highly overrated. Still one hell of an album.