Country Dictionary

Tiny little insects that one never sees, but knows are there; they have been, are, and will forever more be denied nightly meals.

(said before bed) "Don't let the bedbugs bite!"

drugs. Illegal ones.

"'Ere mister, got any bedbugs....?"

Writers of op-eds with really shitty takes. Primarily named Bret Stephens

The New York Times has a serious bedbug infestation.

Someone who only wants to sleep with you, specifically at night

Only time he ducks with you is at night Tiesha...bitch you're dating a bedbug!

A clingy sexual partner who infests your bed at at all times.

Rachel would not leave Alex alone after they had sex, even though he tried to make it clear to her he was not attracted. He began to think of her as a bedbug.

The modern-day version of the Black Plague.

The only difference between bedbugs and the black plague is that the plague kills you with fevers and sores, while bedbugs make you itch to death.

They live in your padded furniture and feed off your blood and are almost impossible to exterminate.

"I would rather gargle buckshot than have bedbugs." "Bedbugs are to furniture what crackheads are to ghettos." "Bedbugs are the reason we had to move and get rid of our couches." "Bedbugs are a biological weapon." "Goodnight, sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite."